Written on 8:40 AM by gracefully discovering:
On my way to work this morning, I'm listening to the Tom Joyner Morning Show and I heard the most ridiculous thing that I've heard this week...and mind you...I sit and listen to people all day everyday!
Apparently, the Black Artist Association is mad at Michelle Obama for not wearing a Black designers clothes during the Inaugural festivities. They have even taken it as far as trying to appeal to her office. Seriously, since when did Michelle and Barack have to be the end all be all when it comes to Black folks and our stuff. She is not obligated to support every single Black business in this Country. Maybe she didn't like the designs....who knows. But we can't act like they have to be and do everything Black. That's a bit ridiculous if you ask me.
Here is what they had to say:
The Black Artists Association is taking her to task for not wearing anything by an African American designer. Cofounder Amnau Eele said Wednesday she will make a formal appeal to the First Lady’s office on behalf of the BAA. “It’s fine and good if you want to be all ‘Kumbaya’ and ‘We Are the World’ by representing all different countries. But if you are going to have Isabel Toledo do the inauguration dress, and Jason Wu do the evening gown, why not have Kevan Hall, B Michael, Stephen Burrows or any of the other black designers do something too?” Eele said.
Then Women’s Wear Daily threw in the kicker:
Asked if perhaps the First Lady isn’t looking at the world colorlessly, Eele said, “It’s one thing to look at the world without color but she had seven slots to wear designer clothes. Why wasn’t she wearing the clothes of a black designer? That was our moment.”
What got me out of all of this was..."that was our moment" Who's moment? Wasn't it our moment when a Black man got elected to be the President. Wasn't it our moment when the First Black family moved into the White House. I mean seriously, what more do we want.
This lady can choose to wear whatever she wants to wear- and by whomever she wants to design it. Get a grip people.
Written on 8:53 AM by gracefully discovering:
Sorry for the delay...I have been experiencing some Internet problems.
All day yesterday I was sitting here trying to figure out how I would write something on my experience in Washington, D.C for the Inaugural festivities. I thought about writing how wonderful the feeling was to be there; about how many people were there for one cause; about how cold it was; about how much walking we had to do; about someone getting hit by the train. But all I could think about were words like BLESSED, AMAZING, EXCITING and MISERABLE (because it was so freaking cold)
I remember being in second grade in 1990, and my teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said that I wanted to be a news reporter, another girl said said she wanted to a doctor, someone else said astronaut, and one boy said that he wanted to be the President. The teacher began to tell us all how we could be those things if we worked really hard- because after all we could be anything we wanted to be! But no one really believed that this boy could be the President. There wasn't a President that looked like us or came from our neighborhoods- so how could he really grow up to be the President of this "free" world. Now when teachers ask students what they want to be and they say President, they can really believe that they have a chance, because someone has paved the way for them. So many men and women paved the way for President Obama and now he is doing the same for our children.
I was reading in the newspaper and Chris Paul ( a basketball player) said that he is so excited about the positive impact that this is having on children. He said when he used to asks kids who they wanted to be like- they would say Michael Jordan, Kobe, and Lebron...now when he asks them, they say that they want to be like Barack Obama. Our kids don't just have athletes, actors, and rappers to look up to- they actually have a person that looks like them, a first lady that looks like their mama's and they believe that that too can be them one day.
So to describe my experience in DC...I will just say that I am so blessed and proud to be alive today where after hundreds of years after slavery, a Black man came be the President of the United States of America and live in the house that our ancestors built with their blood, sweat and tears. That after years of segregation, race riots, and the civil rights movement, people of all nationalities, skin colors and geographic locations can come together to support and celebrate a man named Barack Hussein Obama who happens to be Black. I am just really happy on the inside...and I will always be grateful to have experienced this wonderful time in history.
Here are a few pics from the trip.
Written on 9:40 PM by gracefully discovering:
When people say that one should get a dog before they have a baby because it's good practice...has some truth to it!
Whenever we decide to go out of town we have to find a sitter for our first son Ryan. For the Thanksgiving holidays- we took him with us to visit our families...and it was cool...he did great. Unfortunately, bringing him to DC for the Inauguration was out of the question!
Thank God we have good friends, who love us...as well as our dog ! Candace and Regi are babysitting Ryan for us for a whole 5 days. They are so sweet.....and not to mention, they already have two dogs of their own.
They didn't charge us a nightly fee...so we're hoping that they let us take them to dinner when we get back. It's really the least that we can do!
Just wanted to say thank you to my friend...I LOVE YOU!
By the way- I had a terrible dream last night about Ryan. I dreamt that he got hit by a car and I found him on the curb in our subdivision. I took him to the vet...and she said that he had 2 broken legs and it would cost $5000 to fix him. She asked if we had insurance...and of course we don't have doggie insurance!! Then she suggested that we put him to sleep if we couldn't afford it. I cried and cried...and told her to put us on a payment plan! It was such a sad dream. I think I was just missing my little man!
I know that he is safe and in good hands! Thanks again Candie Cane!
Written on 12:30 PM by gracefully discovering:
This comic strip is HILARIOUS! You know people are about to start naming their kids after Barack and Michelle asap. When I saw this, I couldn't stop laughing because it is so true! ROTFL at Obamalita Jackson. A hot mess...Black people don't do it to your children...PLEASE!
Anyway- we leave tomorrow to go to DC and attempt to attend some events. We don't have tickets to the Inauguration or any Balls...but being in the atmosphere is gonna be enough for me! I imagine that its gonna be so packed that we may not be able to do a whole lot...but it's cool. And who knows, we may luck up!
I'm trying to figure out where I'm about to get some warm clothes from...BC it's gonna be COLD! Gotta make sure I wrap up because I do not want to get sick.
I probably won't be able to blog while we're gone...so don't miss me too much!
And if you are pregnant or plan to get pregnant anytime soon....DO NOT NAME YOUR BABY ANY OF THE ABOVE NAMES...because I will talk about you!!!
Hoooooooolllllaaaa!
Written on 8:17 AM by gracefully discovering:
On November 13, 2008 my husband and I were ecstatic to find out that we had conceived a child through pure love and of course intimacy. This was one of the happiest days of our marriage! We found out right at four weeks because we did the whole track the ovulation days, buy a buncha home pregnancy test thing. So on the day that my cycle was supposed to come...I took the test. (No I didn't miss my period yet...but they have the test that you can tell 5 days before a missed period.) Anyway, Nick looked at the stick and he thought that it was only one line like the test from last month. But the line was just a little faint!! So I went to look at the test and of course I saw TWO lines! We were so excited...but still a little skeptical since the line was so faint. Once I got to work, I took a digital test that showed the word PREGNANT! I was convinced! We were so excited!!
Moving on to December 3, 2008, our first visit to the Doctor for an ultrasound. We go in...ready to see our baby on the screen....and what does she say but this: "Wow, looks like there are two in there." and I said "Who?? Who got two in there...two of what??" and then I immediately started crying. I couldn't believe it! I wish I could sit here and tell you that I was crying tears of joy because I always wanted twins and that this is what I had been praying and dreaming for my whole life! But I told you that I am working on this authenticity thing.....so to be totally authentic, I was crying because she started talking about all of the risks of identical twins and how she couldn't tell if they were in their own sac...and how that could pose all other kinds of problems...something about Twin to Twin Transfusion...and how we had to go see a Specialist (and by that time I had tuned her completely out as she is rubbing on my leg- consoling me)....and really on top of all of that, I was crying because I didn't know what we were gonna do with TWO babies at one time, two cribs, two car seats, two daycare expenses, two babies crying at night, two babies that needed to be breastfed...I WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK!
I went through this whole shock, overwhelming, anxiety, half way slight depression thing for about a week! I felt so guilty because everyone was soooooo excited and I wasn't there yet. I was sick and freaking out! My husband did such a great job of putting things into perspective for me. He allowed me time to feel how I felt and still helped me to try and feel better about it. He never made me feel bad for having these very normal feelings...and I appreciate him so much for that. (this is why I love him so much)
Moving on....we went to see the Specialist about a week later and found out wonderful news! Our OB Doctor said that she couldn't tell if they were in their own amniotic sac...and the Specialist clearly saw two amniotic sacs..which was a HUGE relief! They share a Chorion sac (which is the big sac..and how we know they are identical) and then in the big sac, they are in their own amniotic sacs! We also heard their heartbeats. I think hearing the heartbeats was the best thing for me...because I started to feel some excitement about our two babies. Still scared....but excited!
As the time went on, I began to really appreciate the blessing that has been bestowed upon my husband and I . Identical twins are very rare...and no one even knows how it happens- not Scientist, Doctors, Researchers...nobody. For some freak of nature the one egg that is fertilized is split a couple days after conception. This truly is a sign that God is real and does things exactly how he wants it. And for HIM to believe that we would be able to take care of two of his babies at one time is enough for me. Then I started thinking about how cute and fun it's gonna be watching them grow up and seeing their different personalities, dressing them, and them trying to play tricks on us and everyone else..lol! Then the more positive things I started to think about- the less overwhelmed I felt.
Today at 13 weeks...and I am very proud to be able to carry two little baby girls that will be brought into this world sometime around the beginning of July. My feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, completely freaked out are pretty much gone...and all I really think about now is paying daycare for two babies!! Has anyone looked at the prices lately!! But seriously, I am very happy to be in this place. 6 weeks ago, I wasn't here and didn't think that I would be...but I am. By the grace of God, my wonderful supportive husband who is obsessed with these babies already, great friends and family, and a little time for me process this and put things in perspective..I AM HERE IN A GREAT PLACE!
We're having two babies at one time, that will cry through the night, need their pampers changed, need to eat, need two of everything, break the bank on daycare, and bring us so much joy and happiness. I am excited!
Meet twins A (fat fat)& B (skinny)! This picture was at 8 weeks...our most recent ultrasound isn't letting me take a good picture of it. But we go back next Friday and I promise to get a better picture and show you how big they are now! They are much bigger than this...we can actually see their faces...nose, eyes, big heads, arms...they are already super cute! I can't wait to meet these two little divas!
Written on 1:56 PM by gracefully discovering:
Today, one of my favorite students here discovered she had head lice. So my co-worker has her in her office and she is just talking about lice...and how you get it, how we have to keep her in the office so it doesn't spread...and how she had it when she was younger. Then some of our front office staff were talking about how they had or it- or people they knew had it. So they asked me, have you ever had lice? And of course, I said "no, you know, I don't think Black people can get lice." And they all just laughed...but I was dead serious. I don't know anyone who is Black that has ever had lice. So me, being the inquisitive person that I am....googles it! And there are many articles that justify why it is very hard for Black people to get lice.
1. The heat we put in our hair (kills the lice)
2. The texture of our hair ( too kinky for lice to wrap around)
3. the products that we use ( too greasy for lice to hold on to!)
That makes sense I guess. I was telling one of my other co-workers who is also Black...that hey, we dodged a bullet! I guess we deserve a pass on something since we we already have too many Black people with high blood pressure, diabetes (sugar as my grandma used to call it), cancer, HIV, high cholesterol. I'll gladly take that pass on lice!! Thank you very much!
Written on 9:02 AM by gracefully discovering:
Today, 96 years ago, the above 22 phenomenal women, on the campus of Howard University founded the most magnificent public service organization in the Universe! I am so proud to be a part of this sisterhood where so many wonderful women have come and done great things for this organization, the Black community and our Country. I am so honored to wear the same shield over my heart as Dorothy Irene Height, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones, Gwendolyn E. Boyd, Barbara Jordan, Frankie Freeman, Shirley Chisolm, Ida B. Wells, Mary Church Terrell, Nikki Giovanni, Johnetta B. Cole and Fannie Lou Hamer to name a few. I hope that one day I will be able to leave the legacy and make a lasting contribution to our community just as so many wonderful women of Delta have done before me and are doing it today! OO-OOP
Below are two poems that I found online that I liked a lot and wanted to share with you all. Please enjoy!!
SHE IS DELTA SIGMA THETA
She is the embodiment of charity and patience
The epitome of sisterhood and fortitude
Through her emanates a torch of light
Glistening rays of sisterly servitude
Forging forth in virtues' stride
Holding fast her cardinals plain
Through her beams a will to survive
A grand history to maintain
As the Pyramids on the sands of Egypt
She is a phenomenal creation-her stature great
She treads a path of her own mind
Succumbing not to peer pressure or acts of fate
Who can she be, this woman of character fine?
Transcending those of mere majority
A sister - - DeSTined to Shine
She is DELTA SIGMA THETA SORORITY!
written by Soror Rachelle Guillory
DISTINGUISHED
By Paula Marshall
Distinctive, devoted, delightful, dedicated
women of distinction,carrying themselves proud yet humble
as the young girl is surrounded by the elders,
she gazes at these...women of distinction,
dreaming that someday she could be like them too
honored, revered,cherished and loved,
yet with all the love and honoring they receive
they carry themselves with more humility than you and me
those are the women of distinction
they pass through a crowd and stand out
only because they know what it is to live with and without
they know what it is to work hard without recognition
as they ripened on the tree and their flowers bloomed
they hung gently from the tree
suddenly to be noticed by you and me
because that is not what they're all about
but because you can't ignore the doctors, the lawyers, the dreamers who live the dream
the aspiring women who created hope in us
the women who would not stay on the back of the bus
the warriors when no one else would fight
the leaders when few wanted to follow
This is to say thanks to those who made it possible for me to be here today,
living my dream among the crop as the cream.
This poem is dedicated to our 22 illustrious founders.
Written on 12:32 PM by gracefully discovering:
I remember being in school and my whole class would try to get over on the sub...by telling him/her what the teacher would let us do- even though we knew our teacher would never let us do that. We would break all kinds of rules and go to the bathroom, etc....bc hey, we had a sub and it was more like a free day. After all, the sub typically didn't work at our school and really didn't know the rules anyway.
But this year at YES Prep Southeast, money is a little tight...so all the subs are in house...and we all know the deal. Teachers and staff subbing for each other all the time. Anyway, this morning I was called and asked to sub a 5th period Junior U.S History class. Okay, no biggie...I say yes (not like we have much of a choice if you have a free period...it's the expectation)
Anyway- the teacher leaves the lesson plan...which says, work on these sections in your book, and it's due tomorrow in class. Well more than half of the class didn't have their books....(they claim he never asks them to bring it to class)...so then I allow them to go to their lockers and get the books....and still some of them don't have their books because they left them at home (very interesting).
So then, me being the nice person I am...tell them that they can work while talking softly...but if they get too loud or off task then I will have to shut it down and it will be quiet work time. I'm thinking, these are very mature 11th graders, they can get their work done while chit chatting every now and then with their friends. WRONG! Some of them are writing....most of them are not. So I shut it down...no talking..just do your work.
Then...a few students attempt to convince me that their teacher allows them to listen to their Ipods while working. Now this may be true for a Friday or a study hall time...but it's not happening today on my watch!
Now there always has to be a group that tries you...so a table of 4 boys talk the entire time...even though I am sitting right in front of them. I ask them several times to stop talking...I even separate them...still they keep talking. Enough is enough...take out your demerit cards ( I say to them) and these wise guys tried to play me by giving me their demerit cards from last quarter...REALLY???? Am I that slow, they actually thought that would work on me. I started to give them a detention for being smart behinds...but I let it ride...bc after all it was funny that they thought it would work!
Some things never change....life just goes in circles! I'm sure we would have tried to pull something like that at North Atlanta High back in the day!
Written on 8:31 AM by gracefully discovering:
Okay, I have to confess to the world today...that I have to be the worst doggie mommy in the history of the world. Seriously, I'm being a little over dramatic right now...but it was pretty bad!Last night, I let Ryan out for his evening bathroom check....and before I went back upstairs...I ATTEMPTED to let him back in. He acted like he didn't want to come in, so I gave him two more minutes. I opened the door again and he still stood there and looked at me kinda crazy- so I closed the door, cut the light off and went upstairs. When I got upstairs, I told the hubby that Ryan must have wanted to spend the night outside because he didn't come back in. My intentions were to give him about 30 minutes to play and then let him back in. WELL....I fell asleep and poor Ryan really spent the night outside in the cold.
Now some of you may be like..."girl please, it's a dog...they can sleep outside." And this I know, but Ryan is a little boughetto...even though he was found on the side of the street...he has transformed into a house dog all the way!
Moving on, I didn't realize that he was outside the entire time until I woke up at 6:30 this morning. When I let him in...he seemed fine- but when I went back downstairs he was curled up in the corner looking traumatized. Poor baby must have had some flashbacks of when he used to run the mean streets of Houston as a pup! I hope he feels better by the time I get home today. I feel terrible....I think I'm gonna go buy him a treat.
Written on 3:24 PM by gracefully discovering:
My work computer has had a virus on it for about a month now. Now, it wouldn't be a big deal if I was a super smart person and backed all my files up on a USB drive. But clearly, I didn't do that AND I NEED MY FILES!
I don't understand how it can take a kazillion years for someone to fix a virus on a computer. I'm pretty sure they haven't even thought about my little ol' computer- considering we have so many other technological issues going on in this school. I'm really frustrated right now because if they do not fix my computer soon, I am gonna have to redo a lot of work and I really don't want to do that.
But someone always told me that there is a lesson in all that we do....and I guess my lesson today is to BACK UP MY FILES BECAUSE I CAN NEVER TRUST THAT MY COMPUTER WILL ALWAYS WORK!
I'm done ranting...I just wanted to get that out.
Written on 4:02 PM by gracefully discovering:
When I first started this blog, I wrote about how I was searching to discover the real, true me and not who everyone wanted me to be- or thought I should be. To not try and be "Perfect Patty" for everyone else who attempts to see who I am.
For the longest I have always tried to live a life that would separate me from the statistic that I am "supposed" to be. By that I mean, growing up in the projects of Atlanta, I'm supposed to be uneducated, on welfare, unable to articulately speak, have a few different babies daddy's, work a menial job (if any job at all) and not have much going for myself. Since I was in 8th grade, I made the conscious decision that that was not who I wanted to be. I wanted to be different- I wanted to be like the girls who would come from Spelman and Clark Atlanta to volunteer at the community center. I wanted to be like some of my teachers that I looked up to. I wanted to be like Richard, my neighbor who went to Morehouse and then went to Medical School...and he still made time to help me with my math. I wanted to be something other than a girl from Mechanicsville. So I did!
I never wanted to do or say anything in public that would make me seem otherwise. I went to a Magnet High School outside of my neighborhood and began to associate with people who had different environments than I did. I became really close to my mentor Brenda whom I love so much for showing me life outside of the hood and really encouraging me to be my very best. I completely became this person that I had to be.
In my neighborhood, my friends and other people around would say that I was starting to act and talk "white" that I didn't act like I was from the hood. That I thought that I was better than them. None of that was true- I didn't think I was better than them...I just didn't want to be like so many of the people in my neighborhood. I completely shifted.
I remember the incident that helped me realize that I was taking this thing a bit over the top...I was in College- a few days from graduation and my girlfriends and I went out. We all were from different parts of the Country, so we would be going our separate ways and we had to celebrate!
Anyway- we went out to this bar...and I got WASTED. Now, I'm not a drinker...I have about a .01 tolerance for alcohol and I always get sick! That night I had 5 SHOTS OF PATRON and 2 cosmos...thanks to some random dudes in the bar who heard we all were graduating. Like I said, I was wasted...and my friend had to carry me to the car. Well we get back to campus (we all still stayed on campus) and before we walk in...I tell my friend to cover my head with a jacket so no one would see me in the ridiculous state that I was in. Her response was "Who in the hell do you think you are that you gotta be covered because you're drunk." I totally disregarded her, snatched the jacket and covered myself....walking blindly into the dorm! It wasn't until I took Brene's class in graduate school on Shame that I realized how crazy that incident was. What did I have to prove, who was I hiding from? My thought process that night was:
1. I am Miss CSU and I should not be representing myself this way
2. I am an RA and what would my residents think of me
3. I am the President of my Delta chapter- I have to set a standard
4. And DyMisha just does not do this kinda of mess....get sloppy drunk..NO that's not me.
That day in class, I had a revelation and I am so thankful for that. Today, I still try and present myself as this "perfect girl who has it all together" but I am doing a much better job than I was before of letting go of those expectations that I am completely putting on myself...because no one is saying "YOU HAVE TO BE THIS WAY."
My husband used to always say that I cared too much about what people thought...and I would argue him down that I didn't. But he was/is right.
As I am working on me...I am working to find that connection that Brene talks about in the article above. To be authentic and to be loved and accepted because of my flaws not despite them. I don't quite have the answer to why and how all of this came about...but it did....and it came full force. But i'm young and I have time to make that connection- If not for me, for my children. I want to be able to model that true authenticity for my children so that they can be wholeheartedly connected to those things that make us true authentic individuals.
I think I showed some true ordinary courage by putting myself out there like this. But I think it's all a part of the process.
still gracefully discovering......
Written on 1:41 PM by gracefully discovering:
I think I'm gonna start a new group for stay at home wives/moms...since I have decided after being off work for 2 weeks...that I enjoy doing absolutely NOTHING. As mentioned in a post a few months back- I probably wouldn't be a good stay at home wife/mom because I don't do a damn thing! I don't clean up, I don't cook for my hubby and have the food ready when he walks through the door! Instead, I sleep and lie in bed until about 12. Watch TV for a few more hours, then finally get dressed and by the time I get up and going...he's home!! It's wonderful! I mean, this is the life I think I was made for! Just chillen!!
This morning I had to get up and go back to work. I wasn't exactly happy about that! I have been sleeping in for the past couple of weeks and my body wasn't ready for the early morning rush. But I guess I have no choice.....we'll just have to readjust!
But if anyone is interested in starting this real housewives group...let me know...hey, we may even get a show!! Who knows.
On my way to work this morning, I'm listening to the Tom Joyner Morning Show and I heard the most ridiculous thing that I've heard this week...and mind you...I sit and listen to people all day everyday! 
