So long T.I...we'll see you in a year!


Written on 9:13 AM by gracefully discovering:

Today, T.I will go to jail. He will serve one year and day...or as little as 10 months if he has good behavior. Prior to going to jail he served 300 days of home confinement, attended more than 260 events and earned 1,006 hours of community service credit

While he is away- I hope that he will write some really good music and give us a great CD when he returns home.
Until then, I will continue to bump Paper Trail, Trap Muzik, The King, Urban Legend, T.I vs T.IP and some underground songs on my Iphone!
Good luck in there homey!

Twins had their first shower in ATL this weekend!


Written on 2:37 PM by gracefully discovering:

We had a blast! Thank you to everyone who came and blessed our little girls with such wonderful gifts. They are loved so much already!
If you would like to see the rest of the photos feel free to check them out on facebook. With this link you do not have to be a member!
Hope you enjoy!
For some reason its not letting me make it a just copy and paste it in your browser if you would like to see the pics.

got dumped today!


Written on 1:41 PM by gracefully discovering:

Today, we went to see my OB doctor. The visits to her office are normally pretty quick and not all that exciting! But she is always very nice and answers a lot of questions!
She informed us that she is dumping ME! Since our baby girl has this special heart, they will need to be delivered at St. Lukes hospital and not Women's hospital where we were supposed to deliver. Well, my OB doesn't have priviledges to deliver there...she's gonna pass me on the the Twin Specialist. This is cool and all...but I don't think I've ever been dumped before!
I know that they are doing what's best for our I'm not complaining. But dang...I got dumped this morning! She said we can get back together after the babies are born for my routine check-ups!



Written on 1:23 PM by gracefully discovering:

Last night was AMAZING! We had over 60 people come together and pray for our baby girl last night on a conference call (there may be more, but my friend said when she called in there were 56 people on the line...and more beeped in after that). I couldn't believe how powerful this event was...I will never forget it!
In the beginning as people were logging on, it felt like a big family reunion! Everyone checked in and said their names...and then we all spoke like we hadn't seen or talked to each other in ages (which some of us hadn't). But it was a lot of fun! Both of our families and our friends were all there for this intercessory prayer.
Uncle Bubba started it off with the purpose of the call...then Nick and I gave the update on the babies (you can read my previous post to get that info if you were not on the line)...then Uncle Bounce did the opening prayer, Grandma said a few words and sang a song...which my friend Rita said that she sounded like Maya Angelou (she just laughed when I told her that). I definitely agree with her, Grandma just has that power in her voice that makes you feel that everything will be okay...I LOVE IT!
Now here is when the tears started to Uncle Kevin began to pray the prayer of healing. It was absolutely amazing and so powerful. This man can pray..I mean granted he is a Pastor...but still everyone can't pray a very powerful prayer. So many people called and texted me after the conference call talking about his prayer and of course my hilarious father in-law! Hearing my uncle's words really increased my belief that everything will be okay- and even if it doesn't turn out the way we want it to...we will still be okay because God is in control and he never makes any mistakes. I am at peace.
After the prayer, a few people told us how much they loved us and that they were praying for us...and we even got some offers to babysit! I hope they remember that they said that because we will be taking them up on that offer!! So I hope you all were telling the truth!
I really am speechless, I mean I can't truly describe how overjoyed I felt last night...just knowing that so many people love and care about us..and our girls already. I mean, these little girls have such a huge support system already. We had over 60 people from about 10 states all over the Country....that speaks VOLUMES!
We are just so blessed and I am so thankful!
I will forever be grateful to Uncle Bubba for thinking enough of us and our girls to put this all together.
We love you all!

50/50 chance sounds good to me!


Written on 9:27 AM by gracefully discovering:

Our visit to Texas Childrens hospital was the best visit we have had during this whole pregnancy. We left with a peace of mind and a little more hope than what we walked in with. This was actually one of the first visits that I didn't leave out crying!!
Anyway, we went for the Echocardiograph which took an in depth look at Fat Fats heart. They examined her heart for about an hour!! Which was quite amazing, not that we knew what they were looking at...but it was entertaining to see them playing in there for that long. The results showed that she does have a Hypoplastic heart but that it's not as severe as we had thought. She explained it to us like this: there is a spectrum of hypoplastic hearts. The worst case is black and a normal heart is white (skinny has white), Fat Fat is borderline between gray and dark gray. There is some blood flowing through the left ventricle, but the aortic valve and mitrovalve are small. She believes that there is a 50/50 chance that the aorta and mitrovalve will grow some more and she could move to the light gray/dirty white part of the spectrum...or it could not get better and she can move to the black part of the spectrum. This was good news to us because we thought she was already in the black. We go back in 6 weeks to get another echo done to see if there is any growth to her aortic valve and mitrovalve. She did explain that being borderline which is where she is, is worst than being in the black area. Because the left side is working a little bit, it will start pulling on the right side to do some work, which will in turn make the heart work too hard and it'll be harder to fix. She said we want her to move closer to the white, but if it's in Gods will for her to have a hypoplastic heart, then we want him to move her closer to the black- because it will be easier to try and fix. It was rereshing that she was spiritual...she talked a lot about prayer and miracles and faith...which seems to be rare with medical professionals, especially our twin specialist! But she said that we should pray for very specific things- just like the word says. So we are praying that her left aortic valve and mitrovalve grow over the next 16 weeks of my pregnancy so that she has two working ventricles!! If this happens, she will still need surgery but it won't be nearly as bad as if she goes to the black or stays where she is.
One thing for sure is, this little diva in training is a fighter! She is already kicking her sister like crazy in there and she is taking up all the space. Seems like she has a very strong personality and she won't give up easily!! She doesn't have a clue that she has a special heart because she is so active and full of energy in there already!! The Doctor must have said 10 times that she was a very active baby!!
Oh and you know how we call her Fat Fat and some people have an issue with that... But her being so ahead of my pregnancy could possibly help her! The Dr said that most babies with heart problems are smaller- but since she is a big baby, she will be stronger and it's a positive in helping her beat this. So I'm gonna keep calling my precious baby girl fat fat while she is in utero and then I'll cut it out once she gets here!! LOL.
Tomorrow night our family and friends are having a prayer conference call to pray for Fat Fats heart. So wherever you are at 7:30/6:30 central time please take a few minutes to pray for our baby. I am just so overjoyed with all of he love and support that we are receiving that all I can say is thank you very much!
By the way...I slept through the night for the first time in about a month!!

I have pics to put up that we took at Texas Childrens, but I'm blogging on my phone and they are on my fancy Nikon hat my boo got me for Christmas. I'll put them on when I get to my computer.
Keep us in your prayers!!!

We felt them kick or punch or something!!


Written on 8:33 AM by gracefully discovering:

Last night was amazing!! For the first time EVER, we actually felt our baby girls doing something in there! I really oculdn't tell if they were kicking or punching...but whatever they were doing- we felt it!
I was lying down, on the Internet...looking at more HLHS blogs and I felt something I put my hand on my belly and there it was...a little thump! Then I felt it again!! I called Nick and told him to hurry home so that he could feel it (of course after he picked up my two taco combo from Taco Cabana!)
When he got home, they had stopped moving...but as soon as I ate- they were in full motion! Nick said that he read somewhere that they are the most active after they eat...and they definitely proved that to be true!! This was such an amazing experience...I will never forget the first time I actually felt our baby girls say hi to us. I think that's what they were doing....saying "what's up mommy and daddy....we're here!!"I can't wait to meet them!
For now we will just have to settle for seeing them on the screen! We go to see the Twin Specialist today so we will get to see the little ones! Hopefully all legs are closed and they are acting like the little ladies that they will be...BC mama ain't playing with little fast girls!! LOL

coming full circle


Written on 3:26 PM by gracefully discovering:

It's funny how things in life happen and you never really know why or what the impact could have on your life in the future. In 2002 when the movie John Q came out, I was so moved and inspired by the story that I became an organ donor. While watching this movie, my heart went out to this family and I went that same weekend to change my drivers license to organ donor status. I figured that if my organs could save someone else's life, then I would like to help in any way possible. After all, I would be dead and have no use for them. It's funny because whenever this movie is on TV and I'm around people...the first thing I say is "man, this movie changed my life, I became an organ donor after watching it."

I never would have thought in a million years that 7 years later I could possibly be in the exact same position of this family- fighting for my childs heart and praying for someone to donate a healthy matching heart for my little girl.

If you aren't an organ donor, you should really consider it because you never know who's life you may be able to save. People would always tell me that I shouldn't be an organ donor because the Doctors wouldn't try and save me if I were in the hospital fighting for my life...well I see it like this...if it's your time to go, then you're gonna go. They would also say that you never know if they will even use your organs to save someone's life, that they could do other things with them. And if they did, then hopefully they could use them to make medical improvements or help Doctors become better Doctors. It doesn't matter because I'm dead anyway!!

Anyway, it's just really funny how life happens...and how things connect one way or another. Just thought i'd share that.

Peace out

our baby girl has a very special heart.


Written on 9:40 AM by gracefully discovering:

It has been quite a while since I have taken the time to share my thoughts with the world. This past month has been an emotional roller coaster for my family and I. I am very hesitant to write this post right now and have been for the past month, but I know that I can only find strength in God, and with your prayers, maybe that strength and peace will come sooner. I have been given a bit of inspiration by reading blogs of other moms who have been or is currently going through what you are about to read about. Thanks Leigh Anne for pointing me in the direction of these women.

So here goes...Around our 12th week of pregnancy, we went to visit our Twin Specialist and he noticed that Fat Fat had some extra fluid on the back of her neck. He told us that this could mean a couple of things: it could be a heart defect or a sign of a chromosomal problem like Down Syndrome. He mentioned that her heart looked abnormal but that it was way too early to tell. We then took a blood test to check the risk of the fluid being caused by chromosomal abnormalities- the test came back an increased risk and they advised us to have an amniocentesis done to confirm or reject whether our girls would have down syndrome- because if Fat Fat had it, then Skinny would too because they are identical. (sidebar- skinny really isn't skinny or underweight, she is actually right on time...Fat Fat is just about a week ahead of my pregnancy schedule). That same day that we got the results from the blood test, we had an ultrasound done and a different Specialist in the office said that he was concerned about her heart too. He said that it looked like she was missing a chamber in her heart...that all four hadn't formed- but again it was too early to tell. He too advised us to have the amnio done. We scheduled the amnio- we had to wait until I was 16 weeks to decrease the risk of miscarriage since they stick a very long needle in my belly into the girls amniotic sac to get cells from their fluid.

On February 13, 2009 we go for our amnio. In order to do the amnio test, the Doctor has to do an ultrasound. While he is looking at the babies- getting ready for the test...he starts to really look at Fat Fat's heart. He spends a lot of time measuring and clicking and taking pictures...and then he tells us that it seems as if the left side of heart did not develop completely. That she has a severe heart defect and would be a very sick baby. After he says this- he is called to go and deliver a baby across the street. Mind you, he just told us that our baby girl has a severe heart defect and then he leaves and tells us that he will be back in about 20 minutes because he has to deliver a baby. SO IMMEDIATELY WE DO WHAT THEY TELL US NOT TO DO. WE GOOGLE IT WHILE HE IS GONE!

An underdeveloped left heart also known as Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) is a very rare and one of the most severe Congenital Heart Diseases that there is. HLHS is a condition in which the left side of the heart is underdeveloped, causing complications in the heart’s ability to pump oxygenated blood out to the body.

This affects one in 5,000 babies. Left untreated, HLHS is fatal, usually within the first few days or weeks of life.

There are really only two options for Fat Fat to beat this heart condition. She can have surgery and wait on a heart transplant.

The surgery involves a three-stage operation designed to re-route the blood from the lungs, through the right side of the heart, and out to the body by circumventing blockages on the left side.
Stage I (Norwood- named after her this must be a good sign) Typically, the first operation is performed within the first few days after birth. To improve blood flow to the body, the main lung (pulmonary) artery and body artery (small aorta) are linked to make a new, larger aorta. A passage or shunt is created using soft plastic (Gore-Tex) to provide blood flow to the lungs. The wall separating the heart’s top two chambers is also removed.
Stage II (Glenn Shunt) Normally performed between four and nine months of age, the second operation reduces the workload of the heart and removes the Gore-Tex shunt. Blood from the head, neck and upper body is routed to the lung arteries. This allows blood to flow into the lungs for oxygen
Stage III (Fontan) The third operation is performed as the child begins to develop the need for more blood flow to the lungs. This surgical procedure is designed to separate the red (oxygenated) and blue (unoxygenated) blood and will improve the child’s energy levels. A wall is created in the right collecting chamber and the chamber is attached on the base of the lung artery.

This surgery doesn't FIX the problem, it just reworks some things so that she can live a normal life.

So as you can imagine I'm crying by now and Nick is of course still researching on the handy dandy Iphone. The Doctor comes back from delivering a very healthy baby and wants to look at her heart some more. He confirms that it is in fact HLHS and tells us of our options. He says very bluntly that we can do a selective termination before 24 weeks; we could have the surgery; and get on the list and wait for a heart transplant once she is born. (information overload at this point and I'm really not comprehending anything) He says that he is going to send a referral to Texas Children's Hospital so that we can get an Echocardiograph done- which is basically a more fancy ultrasound of her heart. This will give us a better understanding of what exactly is going on and what our options are once she is born.

Now, he is ready for the amnio!! And all the anxiety that I had prior to coming to his office for the amnio has gone to hell and all I can think about is my baby girls heart. Yes the amnio was uncomfortable- but it was the least of my worries.

We got the results back from the amnio and THANK GOD everything is normal- no chromosomal defects= no down syndrome. With those results, we know that at least one of the girls is healthy....and we are praying that Fat Fat pulls through and gets healthy too.

We go this Friday to get the Echocardiograph done and the closer we get to the day, the more anxious I get. The good news is that, we live in Houston with one of the BEST Children's Hospitals in the Country- so our baby girl will be in good hands. We are very lucky because people all over the Country travel to come here to have their children treated in a hospital that is 20 minutes away from our home.

I have been trying to keep myself busy at work and not think about it. It helps, but as soon as I'm alone, my mind starts to wander and I think about her. I have not been able to sleep through the night since we have found out about her special heart. I feel helpless because there is nothing that I can do to protect her from this. I can not fix her heart and make it better. Our Pastor preached about "worrying" and not trusting in God...and I felt like he was talking to me. But it is truly difficult to not worry about our precious baby girl. It has been so hard not to think about what she will have to go through- if she will make it, or what kind of life she will have. I KNOW that God is able and will not put more on us than we can handle- and that He never makes a mistake...but the part that worries me is not knowing what His plan is...I KNOW that he is a miracle maker and can fix it, but is that what He wants to do? I keep looking and asking God for peace and understanding through all of this. I know that we can not control what HE has in His plan...and Lord knows that I wouldn't want to....I just pray that whatever the outcome is-that He gives us the strength to deal with it. I have had so many different emotions and feelings...many of which I have never really experienced before, which is pretty scary. Nick has been so strong through all of this for me- and I hope that I am able to return the favor to him when he needs it- because I know that he will. But the good thing is that for the past week and a half I have been able to talk about it without tearing up. So I guess I'm getting a little bit stronger.

I hate to keep going on and on with this post...but I just ask that if you are reading this and you believe in God and the power of prayer that you please add our baby girl to your conversations with your God. Please also pray for our families strength, peace and understanding. This is going to be a very long road and we are going to need as much prayer as possible.

Thank you in advance!