gracefully discovering ME

being frugal ain't always good!

2010-02-04T09:36:00.008-06:00

So anyone who knows me...KNOWS that I am frugal...or cheap as some people like to call me. I am the person who will wait until things go on sale, look for a coupon, put back an item because I saw it somewhere else for .30 cents cheaper, or even drive a few blocks down for gas that is only .4 cents cheaper!
Now, don't get me wrong, I will splurge for things like nice shoes, my hair, or things that I really want. But for the most part, I don't like to waste money. I think it has a lot to do with me growing up po' and not wanting to ever go back there again!
Anyway, I have learned the hard way though, that being frugal or cheap isn't always the best and could in fact cause one to spend more money than she would have if she had just bought the brand named in the first place. I feel it's my duty to warn the people on which items are a MUST HAVE name brand:

3. 1. TAMPONS! Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT be cheap like me and buy the Wal-greens brand tampons...even if the box says comparable to Tampax Pearl. It's not, trust me! Just go ahead and spend the extra $1.49 to get the real thing. Your clothes will appreciate you in the end.

2. DRAINO: If you think that Drain-X will do the job...think again. It won't, your sink will still be clogged, even if you use the whole dayum bottle!

3.Peanut Butter: Fake peanut butter just doesn't taste the same...I don't know what it is but it just doesn't spread right on the bread! Your taste buds will thank you for this one. The real thing is always only about .50 more...not that big of a deal.

Paper Towels: I try and try to buy cheap paper towels, and every time that I try to wipe something up- I get mad at myself for being a cheap-o. They wither and tear so easily, that I have to end up using more- which makes me buy more and in the end spend more money!

5. Vanilla Wafers: Nothing can compare to Keebler's Nilla wafers! Nothing, so don't cheap out...you WILL be disappointed.

6. Dish detergent and washing powder: Clothes and dishes wish still be dirty! Or you will have to use a whole lot of it to get it clean. Stick with your brands...but look for coupons!

7.Deodorant: Now, I haven't done this one..but I can just imagine- that nobody would want to walk around smelling like cheap deodorant!

That's all I have for now, if I think of more...I will create a new post. I'll try a lot of things off brand just to see if its good. Sometimes, you can't even tell the difference...but there are a few exceptions. So beware!

going to the floor!

2009-11-02T11:54:00.002-06:00

Today Nia gets moved to the regular floor! This morning they took her last central line out- so we are free to go in about 2 hours!
I forgot to mention yesterday that Nia pulled BOTH of her IV's out of her wrist! This morning, I was holding her..and I looked down and she had her bottom stitch wrapped around her thumb! This little girl is so feisty! I guess she was telling them that she is ready to go home!
I'm happy that we are going to the floor- BC at least there is a pull out bed in the room. last night, I crawled up in two sitting chairs...definitely not the most comfortable...but it served its purpose. I was close by Nia whenever she woke up.
That's all for now- peace!

update on Nia

2009-11-01T22:56:00.002-06:00

So last night was my night at home with Naomi...but before that, mommy and daddy went on a little date!
Durante sat at the hospital with Nia ( I just hate leaving her by herself...so we had to send a replacement) and Phebe watched Naomi. Nick and I needed some alone time and it was nice. Although, we only went to dinner (and I had the BEST strawberry banana margarita..yum!) it was great convo and lots of fun!

Anyway, Naomi and I had a good time together...and I swear- having one baby is a BREEZE!
Nick stayed with Nia last night...and I get a call this morning that she "woke up a new baby." Normally Nia is kinda quiet and just chills. But today, according to Nick, she was laughing and smiling and playing all morning and afternoon! He made a video and I don't know how to upload it, but once I figure it out, I will post it. She looked so cute and HAPPY! I was told my another heart mom that after the Glenn she saw a huge increase in her baby's energy. So maybe this is it! Who knows?

Her blood pressure is doing much better. They have her on 8ml of Captopril 3x a day...which is A LOT! She doesn't seem to like the taste of it, so I asked them to flavor it...and it didn't seem to make a difference. I tasted it to see if was nasty-but it didn't taste like anything to me. I really hope its not this hard to give her the medicine when we go home...because I will quickly hand that responsibility over to daddy!

She is sleeping now...and seems to be singing or moaning or something. It's quite entertaining!! I need to try and sleep while she is...but this chair isn't very comfortable...and...I need to pump! 2 more months and counting!!!!!!!!!

update on Nia

2009-10-30T20:46:00.002-05:00

Nia is doing great! SHe is still in the CVICU- only because her blood pressure REFUSES to go down! They have tried a few medicines- but they are not working. They even had the renal Doctor come in and check her kidneys, but THANK GOD nothing was wrong. I couldn't imagine dealing with heart and kidney problems!

She is a super star on the CVICU floor...people LOVE her! They are always coming in the room talking about how cute she is. When I came in today, someone had made/given her a pinkknit hat and made her a name sign for her crib! She is quite the people magnet.

She is sharing a room with two other babies that just had the same surgery. It's so funny because all three of them are about 2 weeks a part from each other. They all have different heart conditions- but had the same surgery. I feel so bad for one of the little girls. No one ever comes to visit her. Well, I saw her mom yesterday for about 30 minutes. She seemed nice- and I didn't want to be too nosy and ask her why no one was here with her!
She is married and the little girl is her only baby.....so I don't know why this precious baby is so alone ALL of the time! But I don't know her situation, so I can't judge.

But what I can do, is show this little girl some attention. So when I read to Nia, I sit in the middle of them so that she can get story time too. I even bought her a halloween onesie when I went to get Nia's today. Although, I don't think that they can wear it!! But it'll be cute for a picture!! I hope her mommy doesn't mind. She seems (the baby) very cranky and it could be because of the pain from the surgery...but I bet some of it it because she misses her mommy and daddy...or someone who feels familiar. Mom did say that baby had been in the hospital for a while before the surgery.

Anyway, Nia is just progressing fabulously...just like last time. I hope it continues and that we are all back home being one big happy family in no time. Nick and I have been swapping out babies! Tonight is my night at the hospital and he is at home with Naomi. Last night Naomi and I bonded big time.
I love my girls...Nia just woke up and is ready to eat...so peace out!

today is the day....the Glenn

2009-10-27T16:05:00.003-05:00

So the day that we have been waiting for, for the past 2 weeks is finally here. As I type, they are cutting through the scar tissue (from the first surgery) to get to her heart. She went back around 12:20pm and they gave us our first update at around 3:15. She did well with the anesthesia, but they had a tough time getting her central line is because she was on the chubby side (the nurse's words..not mine).

This morning I held her for so long because I know it'll probably be a few days before I can hold her again. She was so cute and didn't have a clue about what she would soon endure. She was a little fussy because she couldn't eat anything after 9am...and even still she could only have Pedialyte after 3am. But she calmed down and went to sleep- which was good!

Last night, I kept having the dream where they took her through the double doors and we couldn't go with her...and this afternoon....it happened. They took her and we couldn't go and I cried. But I must say, I am much calmer this time around. For the Norwood, I was a complete mess...probably had a lot to do with all of the hormones from just having two babies.

I'll update again once we hear something.
I'm missing Naomi big time. She stayed with Mrs. J last night and is staying with Audrey tonight. Tomorrow, she will be with either mommy or daddy! (I'm thinking mommy- I don't know if I can last 3 days!)

so..Tuesday it is....hopefully?

2009-10-21T14:41:00.003-05:00

Got a call from Mary, the Cardiac nurse, and she said that Nia is scheduled for surgery Tuesday...pending a negative flu test that she will take on Monday.
The part that sucks is that all of our help will be GONE next week and Texas Children's has a new rule that no children under 12 can visit the hospital. I talked to her about it and she said that Naomi would be able to be there with us as long as Nia is in CVICU- but once she gets to step down she wouldn't be able to stay.
I'm going to talk to the Social Worker and see what arrangements can be made. I mean, there has to be an exception to the rule (there always is)....and if there isn't, a Social Worker always knows how to get it done!! (I'm just a tad bit biased)
So please pray that my little pumpkin can have her surgery next week and that it goes extremely well!
thankyouverymuch!

Positive AGAIN

2009-10-20T10:48:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I took Nia back to the hospital to get the nasal flu test again...and it came back positive AGAIN. It's kinda frustrating because I do not see any symptoms- she doesn't have a cough, runny nose, fever or anything. But this test continues to come back positive, which is delaying her surgery.
SO, they started her on Tamiflu (sp?) for 5 days- hoping that it will knock this flu ghost out of her system. However, she (the nurse Mary) couldn't tell me if they would proceed with the surgery or wait until next week. She said that she would call me today to let me know what her surgeon, Dr. Heinle, and the team of Cardiologist think.
I know that they want to get her surgery done now, but the risks may outweigh their desire to do it sooner than later.
I just hate being in limbo....and I feel very much in limbo right now. I really want her to get her surgery while her O2 levels are good and she is doing pretty well. But I can't make that decision.
I'm also a little irritated because we had planned on going home to Atlanta for Thanksgiving and the Cardiologist had approved us going based on the initial surgery date. Now, since they have pushed it back so much, we may not be able to go if she hasn't fully recovered.
Waiting on that call today- I'll keep you posted.

what a surprise!

2009-10-19T12:23:00.005-05:00

Last Sunday my best friend from College surprised me and came to visit for a full week. Now, apparently everyone knew but me...which hardly ever happens because I am nosy and nothing gets past me...just ask my husband!
But she was able to pull this one off! I'm actually happy that I didn't know because it turned out to be a very pleasant surprise!
We didn't get a chance to do a whole lot together, but she helped out a whole lot with the girls! I actually felt like I was on a mini vacation for a few days! She and Grandma Lena was with them during the day while we went to work and Melissa got up with them at night. It felt pretty good!
We did get to hang out some Saturday. We went to the Breakfast Klub and got pedicures.

God has really blessed me with some wonderful friends. I honestly don't think I could have asked for better ones. My mom used to say that you can count your REAL friends on one hand, and you may just get one or two. But I'm proud to say that I've been blessed to count them on both of my hands! They come from all different walks of life and from different stages in my life: from high school to college to graduate school and a few things in between.

Anyway, Melissa was so sad when she left the girls (after she got over losing her ID and having to have her birth certificate faxed so that she could get on the plane and go back home to my godson) she was very teary-eyed and didn't even want the girls to ride to the airport to drop her off.

We love you Ti-Ti Melissa and will miss you greatly!

postponed AGAIN

2009-10-15T11:41:00.006-05:00

Today was SUPPOSED to be the day that Nia would have the second of three surgeries. BUT yesterday, we went in to get all of her Pre-op work done and one of the test that identifies cold or flu symptoms came back positive. Since she didn't look sick, nor did she have any visible signs of a cold- they took the test again and it came back negative. But to be on the safe side, the pushed her surgery back to next Thursday. We have to take her back Monday to get more test done and if she is healthy, then they will proceed.
At first, I was a bit annoyed because this is the 3rd date that we have gotten...but they explained that if they operate on her with even a hint of infection- she will have a much harder time recovering. So I guess we're blessed that they are doing whatever needs to be done to make sure my little pumpkin has the best surgery and recovery possible.

Her little half of a heart is working really hard and she needs to have this surgery to relieve some of the responsibility of the right side of her heart. I really hope that she can have it next week. As nervous as I am...I know that she needs this and it will only make her better.
So let's get on with it people!!!!!!!!!!!

On a brighter note- the girls had their first professional pics taken Tuesday and we had a BALL! Nia showed up and showed out- just smiling and laughing the whole time. I guess she knew that she wouldn't have to get her surgery this week and was extremely happy!

Part 2: The Glenn

2009-10-09T13:59:00.003-05:00

Nia's Glenn was scheduled for Monday, October 12- but it has been postponed a few days because half of the operating staff is out with the flu. Luckily she has been doing great and her O2 levels have been steady- which is why the Surgeon is okay with delaying her surgery a few days. However, her team of Cardiologists are not so pleased with this news.
For the past week or so, I have felt myself clinging to her a bit more than usual...and I think it's because I am very nervous about this surgery. I know that they say this is much easier on the babies, but open-heart surgery is open-heart surgery and I am internally freaking out. I keep playing it over in my head how the day will go: how we will get to hold her and kiss her before they wheel her through the double doors that I can't go through and I will cry until they call to give us the updates. So when they called to tell me that I have a few more days to spend with my baby before they cut her open again- I was pleased. Don't get me wrong, I know that she needs this and it is going to in turn save her life...but I sure wish there was a way to do just that- WITHOUT cutting her open!

Anyway- I found this video on another heart moms blog and it is absolutely moving. Please be ready to tear up :) Spread awareness about CHD's! Take a few moments to watch it- and then pass it on!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Whew! Who thought it would take me three months?

2009-10-09T10:39:00.005-05:00

So it's been like FOREVER since I've had the time to actually sit down and blog about the new adventures of my life. I had actually stored the urge to share my thoughts with the world in that closet that hardly gets opened...but thanks to my colleague Leigh Anne "for checking me boo" in the teachers lounge the other day...I've opened that closet and started to take things out again- blogging being one of them.
I dare NOT try to sum up the past three months of my life in this post- but I will give a brief overview.
Let's see
1. I'm still alive and sane! Thank you Jesus
2. Nia and Naomi are 3 months and 9 days old today!
3. They have grown soooooooooo much- approx. 12 pounds each now! They were born 6lbs and 4lbs 10 oz.
4. This week, we started giving them rice cereal at night AND....they are sleeping for 6 hours straight. HALLELUJAH!!!!!
5. Nick and I haven't been on a date since August 5- but Grandma Lena is coming this weekend, so mommy and daddy are hitting the town Saturday.
6. The girls personalities are so different. Naomi is much like her mommy- loves to smile, bubbly personality and outgoing. Nia on the other is quite reserved. She likes to check you out for a minute, throw a few frowns at you, and maybe...just maybe she will give you a smile! However, as of the late she been smiling more. SO maybe she's warming up to the world!
7. Nia has recovered remarkably from her surgery. No issues at all! I am so thankful and I know that it's God that is holding her in his hand and guiding her through this process. It's truly unbelievable how well she has done. When I hear about all of the special heart babies that are having such a tough time, all I can do is continuously thank God for his miraculous blessings. We are truly favored.
8. I'm still nursing...well let me be clear..I'm still pumping! I'm really trying to make it 6 months, but lawd knows this is HAZING!
9. Nick is the best dad in the world. He does so much for me and the girls- that it's crazy. I mean, I hate to brag...but uh' I have the best hubby in the world!
10. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH BEING A MOMMY. It is total happiness, exhaustion, humility, joy, pride, and sacrifice all balled up in one. I love being a mommy, it is indeed the best job in the world.

Here are some pics of the lady bugs. If you're m y friend on facebook, then you have seen them a lot. If not, here are my two pumpkins!

first time overnight with both our girls!!

2009-07-21T13:58:00.002-05:00

My MIL being the lifetime social worker that she is asked the nurse if she could bring us a bigger crib so that Naomi could stay here with us at night- BC my MIL is leaving to go home tomorrow and they still haven't given us a discharge date.
So they brought the crib and Nick fixed it up so that they both could have their own little spot in the bed!
Now we expected our first night to be a little rough with both of them...but really it was just Naomi who made it a rough night!!! Fortunately they both are on the same feeding schedule so that wasn't an issue. But we made the mistake of letting Naomi sleep in our bed/bassinet in our room the first two weeks of her life...so she isn't quite feeling sleeping in a crib where she isn't touching anyone. Last week the Pediatrician told us to start keeping her in her own room in her crib...my MIL has been trying it- but....she hasn't been very successful BC Naomi just cries all night!
Anyway- last night she fussed a lot, even though she was in the crib with Nia. She finally fell asleep about 3:30....when her daddy put his Iphone in the crib playing Maxwell and Robin Thicke. She is truly her daddy's child....because he loves to listen to music while going to sleep...and it was so funny...she stopped in the middle of her cry as soon as the music started playing. I guess we found our little musician...or artistic child!! It was hilarious how fast she stopped crying!!! But it worked..and from now on...they will go to sleep with some type of music playing in their room.
Nia doesn't have a problem sleeping in her crib because she has always been by herself in a crib since the first day of her life....she just chills and goes to sleep- no problem!!
They tricked us...in the womb, Nia was very active and Naomi was so calm and pleasant....but now the tables have turned!!
Naomi is a FIRE CRACKER!! This girl is nonstop! I guess she said it's her time to shine.
It's so fun having them together and learning their personalities. I love my babies and I am so happy and blessed to have been able to carry them and bring them into this world!
I'M SO IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life in the step down unit

2009-07-20T13:29:00.004-05:00

It's been 7 days since we have been sleeping on the pull-out couch in Nia's room in what they call the "step-down" unit.
This is the unit where we learn how to care for her and get ready to take her home. It's been great to spend so much time with her- but we are definitely ready to spend that time AT HOME!

Nia has been doing great considering that she just had major open-heart surgery 2 weeks ago. The Cardiologist even said that she is starting to make the other babies look bad...and I'm thinking.."of course she is....she is a Richardson and that's what we do!!"
But seriously, she has been eating really well, having good poopy diapers and no fevers! However her blood pressure has been a bit high so they continue to increase her dosage of Captopril until they can get her blood pressure where they want it to be. Also her SAT levels have been slightly lower than where they want them to be...so they have to watch her a little longer to see whats going on.
She had an echo this morning and her heart seems to be doing well and functioning at a good level....so that is good news!
We were supposed to leave tomorrow- but now that's not looking good because they want to monitor her a little longer. I guess I'd rather her stay here until they aer completely comfortable with her-than for me to have to rush her back to the ER.

What it's like here:
1. Nurses, Doctors, PCA's and everyone in between coming in the room at least every hour to check on her and give her some type of medicine..or ask us some kind of question.
2. Checking Vital signs all through-out the night...and the lady knocking on the door saying "VITALS" which we think is hilarious
3. Eating fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner- and not eating the "breast feeding mom" plates they bring me from the cafeteria
4. Waking up every 3 hours to feed and change Nia
5. Pumping for Naomi so she can have milk when she is away from me
5. Hearing the beeping noise from the Polsox (sp?) machine....and turning the volume down so we can sleep!
6. Watching the residents sit back and not say a word when the Cardiologist do their rounds in the morning
7. Nick and I sleeping on the full...or maybe twin sized pull out sofa they have in her room
8. CPR training, car seat training. and the teaching of how to take care of our baby girl

I really just want to get home and get some type of normalcy back....and get our own little routine going. It's been hard to leave Naomi. She spends the whole day with us and then goes home with my MIL for the night. I just would like for all of us to be together and not have to split my time with the girls. That is definitely the hardest part. But hopefully all of that will come soon.

Gotta go change a poopy diaper...Nia is calling!
Check out some pics of the cutest set of twins you will ever see in your life...and yes I AM BIASED!

On the way to step down!!

2009-07-11T18:32:00.002-05:00

Baby Nia is doing amazing! It's been 5 days since her surgery and she has not had one single complication or set back! Today they removed the last of her tubes and lines...so she is free of all support!
She is now being fed my breast milk through an NG tube and a supplement through an IV...but other than that...this little feisty mama is doing it all on her own!
The Doctors said we may be going to step down tomorrow or Monday.
Step down is the unit right before she goes home! She will have her own little room and we will be able to stay with her....even Naomi. Naomi hasn't seen her since the day of the surgery. I'm pretty sure they miss each other. I can't imagine how they feel...I wish I knew. It has to feel pretty weird to be separated from someone that you have been with everyday all day for 9 months. But they will be back together again and I can't wait!
I really can't wait to see how they interact with one another and really get to know their different personalities. From what we can tell already- Naomi is the nice, calm and pleasant one...who just chills and wants to be fed and changed...oh and held! I hope she isn't becoming spoiled...but I think she is!!
Nia on the other hand is a little..well no VERY feisty and doesn't want you touching on her...and if you do- she will surely kick you or smack your hand away quickly! But I think her strength and feistiness has gotten her through this surgery and recovery- so I WILL NOT COMPLAIN!

I wanted to say thank you very much for all of the prayers that everyone has been sending up for our family. It's amazing that people who do not even know us- are praying for us. God is good and He loves when we come together to give Him the glory for his good works! We are definitely blessed beyond measure. I was telling Nick that I feel like this is too good to be true. That she is recovering so well without any bumps in the road (thus far). It's like we/I expected the worst....for it to not be this easy. But when we pray and put it all in the hands of the Lord...and praise Him before it's even done...He will make it this easy...just to show us what He can do. From the beginning...well not the very beginning...but after I accepted Nia's condition and stopped being mad at God for "doing this to us"...I have said that God's will will be done...whatever that is. And is seems like His will is for our baby girl to recover and come home and beat the HLHS like many other special heart babies. I know it's only 11 days out...but I feel good about it and I am gonna continue to believe that whatever His plan is for her- it will come to pass.

no service = no updates

2009-07-07T21:12:00.006-05:00

Sorry for the major delay of info...but we stayed at the hospital last night and our cell phones didn't have service nor did we have wireless Internet.
Anyway- our little Nia is doing excellent! She got out of surgery yesterday around 4:45 and it went very well. No complications at all. The say that the first 48 hours are the most critical for these special heart babies....and guess what she made it through the first 28 hours complications free!

She is on a ton of meds and is sedated and hooked up to an oxygen machine. Her numbers look great and the doctors are pleased with how things are going.
I can't articulate how blessed we are! I am so overjoyed that our little girl is such a strong fighter and is getting through this like a champ. I know it is still very early...but I can't help to believe that things will continue on this great path to recovery.

Last night we stayed at the Ronald McDonald house at the hospital so that we could go up and see Nia at any time. It was kinda tough because we kept Naomi with us- but she couldn't go in the CVICU- so Nick and I had to take turns to go visit her.
I went and read a few stories to her and held her hand and kissed her feet! She is a little feisty mama...she doesn't really like people touching on her...and she will kick you to let you know it!!! But that doesn't stop me at all :)

The hardest part has been leaving her. I HATE HATE HATE leaving her room. I feel like I'm supposed to be there with her 24 hours so that she won't feel lonely. I know that the nurses are taking excellent care of her...they all have been beyond AWESOME, but it really tears me up inside when I leave her room. I cry every time...hell I'm crying as I type this now. I swear, I've been so emotional this past week. Funny story: so today as we were checking out of the Ronald McDonald house but I wanted to go see Nia again before we left. For some reason we had a ton of stuff...so I asked the receptionist if we could leave our stuff there until we got back from her room...and she said "well no because we cant be responsible for your belongings" and as she was saying no...I just started crying!! Then she was like..well you can leave it in the corner but we cant watch it!! I wanted to slap myself for crying because the lady told me NO! I'll get it together eventually!

I need to do a better job of taking care of myself. I totally OVER DID it yesterday...and I am feeling it. I think I forget that just 7 days ago I had a c-section and delivered 2 babies! My feet are super swollen and my incision is hurting bad! I really need to take it easy- but its impossible because I feel like I need to be in 2 places at one time..taking care of two babies in two different places! But I do not want to be put in the hospital because my incision split open or my feet are swollen to death! So instead of going back to the hospital tonight...I'm lying in the bed with my feet propped up and finally getting some sleep as my sweetie pie Naomi sleeps! Side bar: this little girl is the best! She is soooo sweet and calm and pleasant. I'm so in love with her! I Love just looking at her and watching her different facial expressions...she is adorable! I can't wait until both of them are here together..it's gonna be the best! I love my girls soooooooo much! It's an indescribable feeling...and I love every minute of it. I was made to be mommy to these little girls!!
Here are a few pics of them!

Sorry for the delayed updates

2009-07-06T16:32:00.003-05:00

for some reason I have had the hardest time updating my blog today. The Internet was/is acting crazy in the waiting room and I am now blogging from my phone. If there are typos or spelling errors...please excuse them!
UPDATE:
Nia did really well through her surgery thus far. They have completed the repair portion of the procedure and now they have a few more steps to take. Her heart is beating on it's own and her levels are saturated. Don't ask me what that really
means. The nurse said she doing as well as a baby can do during this surgery!! She also said that each day it amazes her what God has done and is doing in this hospital everyday.
Now we are waiting on the doctor to come down and talk to us.
Our friends and family have been here with us all day and Naomi has been such a pleasant little lady all day waiting on her sissy to come out of surgery. It's such a blessing to have the I've and support from those who love you.
Thanks to everyone who is praying for our baby girl and our family. We have a lon g road ahead but she has done well so far and I can't help but to believe that everything will remain on the good path and recovery will be a breeze.
She is finished and we are about to meet with the doctor. Update you soon

Day 1: Norwood Procedure

2009-07-06T12:05:00.004-05:00

Today, our precious baby girl will have her first surgery. For those of you who do not know why she is having surgery- she is here today because she was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome with an unbalanced canal. Basically it means that she has half of a heart. If you would like to read more about it...go back a few months in my blog to get all of the information.

I will continue to update on this blog to keep you all posted on the outcome of the surgery as well as her recovery. Reading other heart moms blogs really got me through a lot these past 7 months. So I hope that I can provide some insight or comfort for someone else as they go through this very confusing and difficult process.

Day 1:
We arrived at the hospital this morning at 6:15 am to hold our baby girl before she went into surgery. This was only the second time that we got to hold her since she has been born. At first she was a little fussy...but once she got comfortable in my arms, she was good to go! As she held on to my finger, we talked and had a great mommy/daughter bonding session! I can't believe how incredibly in love I am with these two girls. Now I understand what parents mean when they say you experience a love like never before.
The surgeons came in to talk to us about what to expect...even though we knew everything they told us...it was comforting for them to explain it to us- so we could be sure that they knew what they were doing :) JK! We know that we are in the best place possible to be for her surgeries and for that we are considered blessed.

After Nick and I got to spend a little QT with Nia, they took her upstairs. We were able to go up with them but couldn't go through the double doors. After multiple kisses and "be strong big girl" we finally let her go. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I know that without this surgery she can not live...and that's about the only thing that's keeping me together right now!
The surgery will take anywhere from 8-10 hours...we will get updates every two hours! Talk about
Latest update: They have completely put her under the anesthesia...and her body received it very well. They have also hooked her up to the heart and lung machine...so that her organs will not have to do any work during the procedure. I'm so happy that my baby girl won't have to feel any of this pain...and she won't remember any of these surgeries once she gets older!! But I'll be sure to tell her how strong she was and how she fought through like a big champ!! I love her so much and am so proud of how well she has done thus far!

okay..I'll update gain when we hear something.

"Thank God she just has a heart problem"

2009-06-28T00:00:00.002-05:00

Never in a million years did I think that the words "thank God she just has a heart problem" would come out of my mouth until hubby and I went to see My Sister's Keeper tonight. Aside from the continuous crying from myself and many other movie patrons, this movie put a lot of things in perspective for me. This was a very sad movie- and it was even more sad for me because we are having twin girls and I can't help but to think about how Naomi will have to be her sisters keeper! How even though in the womb...we all consider Nia to be the big sister just because she has been the most dominant...and of course the biggest in weight- I can definitely see Naomi stepping up to be the big sister protector!

From this movie I learned a few things:
1. DO NOT forget about the other kids! In our case...our other newborn baby. Mom (Cameron Diaz) was so focused on keeping her daughter with cancer alive that she completely left the other children to basically fend for themselves. Nick and I talk about making sure we balance out our love and affection for both of our girls all of the time. It is something that we are very aware of and are taking steps to make sure that it doesn't happen. I know that it will be hard because Nia will require so much attention- but we have to make a conscious effort to make Naomi feel just as special and loved. I don't want my girls growing up with self-esteem issues because Mommy didn't show her enough love, attention and affection- NO WAY!!!

2. Although the entire family was dealing and coping with the Cancer- they still appeared to remain close, have fun and take advantage of the time that they had with Kate. They didn't seem to completely let the illness take over their lives...well mom kinda did...but they were still able to have fun and make jokes :)

3. A heart mom that has a grown daughter with HLHS told me that this journey with HLHS can either make or break your marriage...and that we have to decide which one it will be. In this movie- I could clearly see how stressful Kate's Cancer was on her parents marriage. She even knew it and in her book she wrote a note to her dad saying that she was sorry for taking his first love away. I'm praying that this journey that we are about to endure will only bring us closer to one another and allow us to depend on God more than we ever have before. I know that this is going to be tough...but I don't have a doubt in my mind that together we will get through this.

So, tonight I am going to bed with a little more peace than I had before. My daughter will be born in about 55 hours with half of a heart....and will have the first of three open heart surgeries in about 5 or 6 days. We don't know what God has in store for baby Nia- but thank God it's just a heart problem!

Next week this time my girls will be here!

2009-06-23T11:26:00.004-05:00

Wow! It's been over a month since I've blogged...but I'm baaaccckk! I think that I will be blogging frequently, or at least have my friend Candace blog for me so that I can keep you all updated on the girls and Nia's surgery and recovery process.

We have exactly 7 days before our little ladies are welcomed into this world. My scheduled c-section date is June 30, 2009 at 7:30am. Knowing the exact date and time eases up some of the anxiety- but there is still enough of it there to freak me out just a little bit! I was telling my girlfriend that I have every range of emotions that one could think of these days. I am very excited, happy, anxious, scared, nervous, overwhelmed, full of joy and peace...all at the same time! I never thought that was possible...but I'm here to tell you that it is.
In exactly one week, my life as I know it today will be over! I'm looking forward to the changes- although some of them will be very difficult- I'm thinking that they will be totally worth it when I am able to look into the eyes of the two people that I have carried for 9 months.

Are we ready??? Physically ABSOLUTELY! The house is completely ready for them to come home! They have everything that they need, and their room is the cutest baby room that I have ever seen in my life (and of course I'm biased...so just accept it!).

Mentally...I'm still working on that! I keep telling myself that I'll be ready by the 30th...but truthfully, I don't think anyone is ever mentally ready to have two newborn babies and one baby with a serious heart defect that will need open heart surgery the first week of her life! But what I do know is that we have a great support system and we have God on our side who is going to provide us with the strength and peace to get through this journey that we are about the endure!

The countdown begins today. 7 days.

Here are some pictures of the girls nursery that daddy worked so hard on! This man loves his girls..I'm telling you!

What it's like to have a child with CHD

2009-05-20T10:43:00.002-05:00

I found this on another Heart Mom's blog...I enjoyed reading it, and it gave some insight on what to possibly expect very soon!

It’s Lasix,aspirin,Captopril….It’s wondering…Lord what’s your will?…It’s monitors and oxygen tanks…It’s a constant reminder…to always give thanks…It’s feeding tubes, calories, needed weight gain…It’s the drama of eating…and yes it’s insane!It’s the first time I held him…(I’d waited so long)It’s knowing that I need…to help him grow strong…It’s making a hospital…home for awhile…It’s seeing my reward…in every smile.It’s checking his sats…as the feeding pump’s beeping…It’s knowing that there… is just no time for sleeping…It’s caths,x-ays and boo boos to kiss…It’s normalcy…I sometimes miss…It’s asking…do his nails look blue?It’s cringing inside… at what he’s been through.It’s dozens of call to his pediatrician…(She knows me by name…I’m a mom on a mission)It’s winters homebound…and hand sanitizer…It’s knowing this journey…has made me much wiser.It’s watching him sleeping…his breathing is steady…It’s surgery day…and I’ll never be ready.It’s handing him over…( I’m still not prepared…)It’s knowing that his heart… must be repaired…It’s waiting for news…on that long stressful day…It’s …praying…it’s hoping…that he’ll be okay.It’s the wonderful friends… with whom I’ve connected…It’s the bond that we share…it was so unexpected…It’s that long faded scar… down my child’s small chest…It’s touching it gently…and knowing we’re blessed…It’s watching him chasing…a small butterfly…It’s the moment I realized…I’ve stopped asking…why?It’s the snowflakes that fall…on a cold winter’s day…(They remind me of those…who aren’t with us today)It’s a brave little boy…who loved Thomas the train…Or a special heart bear…or a frog in the rain….It’s the need to remember…we’re all in this plight….It’s their lives that remind us… we still need to fight!It’s in pushing ahead amidst every sorrow…It is finding the strength to have hope for tomorrow.
-Author Unknown

Pregnancy photo shoot!

2009-05-20T09:38:00.005-05:00

Okay, so anyone who knows me...knows that I LOOOOVVVVVEEE taking pictures. I have my camera with me almost at all times...and I'm quick to snap some photos at any event. My husband on the other hand (despite his beautiful smile) does not like to be photographed...but he does enjoy photographing other people...especially since he bought me/him the Nikon D40 for Christmas.
Earlier this school year, our photography teacher at school asked if I would be willing to allow her and her husband to take pictures of my belly when I got further along. I was like...OF COURSE...as long as I don't have a bunch of stretch marks!! Then she said, we would like for your husband to be a part of the photo shoot too....and I'm like...oh hell naw, he is NOT gonna want to do this. But I asked him if he were interested..he said NO...then I told him how much I wanted him to be a part of the images that would capture one of the best times in our lives. I even sent him a website of preggo photos so he could see that it wasn't that bad!
He finally said YES...so this past Friday...we took the pictures! I had so much fun taking them..and he said he had a good time too.
Here are a few pics from the shoot.

We were photographed by Ben and Angela Perkins-DeSoto. If you are in the Houston area and would like for them to do an event for you- their email address is zendfoto@hotmail.com and the phone number is 713.705.1470. They are truly amazing to work with.

Another good reason to donate your organs!

2009-05-14T08:55:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a very exciting day for my family!! My father in-law (and I only put in-law so that you all will know which father I'm talking about...because there are no in-law feelings for him....I am closer to him than my real dad) But anyway-he finally got the call that we all have been waiting for. They found a matching kidney for him!!!! Now although we are overjoyed, I know that there is a family who is mourning the lost of a loved one...and I pray for them.
They got the call yesterday morning and was told to be there in an hour...WELL...they just happened to be on vacation in Myrtle Beach- which is four hours away from Augusta! So they jumped up and immediately left- leaving grandma at the Timeshare to enjoy the rest of her vacation!
They got to Augusta and went straight to the hospital. He had surgery last night around 9pm and it all went very well! He is currently still in recovery and we are so blessed that everything was a success.
Since before we were pregnant..or even planning to have children, he has been talking about his granddaughter(s)- he even named her before she was conceived Dee...and now that there are two- he has named then Dee and Dee-Dee! The funny thing is that I used to be Dee...but I got kicked to the curb apparently. This man is so excited that they are coming...I really think that he and my husband are neck and neck with excitement! Now he doesn't have to worry about going on Dialysis three times a week..he can just hang out and spend as much time as he wants with his precious granddaughters. And now that they have a kidney- they may even move here which would be awesome! He is no longer limited to what he can do or where he can go! I am excited and I feel so blessed that he has gotten a kidney.
So as I have said before, if you're not an organ donor already...you really should consider it! It can save lives and bring more joy and happiness to a family than you can ever imagine!
Thanks to everyone who sent up special prayers yesterday for him. They worked!!

Photo taken during the Christmas holidays 2008. My mom, mother and father in-law! He just jumped in their picture...just like something he would do! I'm telling you I love this man! He is the reason why my husband is such a wonderful man..he had the perfect example! I wish I could clone him and put him in families across the world- that need good dads!

An unexpected Mother's Day

2009-05-11T08:24:00.003-05:00

At 7 1/2 months pregnant, I wasn't really expecting to celebrate Mother's Day until next year! When people would say "oh, you're about to celebrate your 1st Mother's Day" I would reply..."No, I'm not....I'm not technically a mom yet!" I was even so sure that this wouldn't be my year- that I told one of my friends that I was kinda jealous because just to spite me..."daddy's little girls" would come early so that he could celebrate Father's Day this year.
But oh was I surprised! I got a ton of text messages, phone calls and even cards in the mail from family and friends wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.
I have to publicly apologize to my baby girls because they didn't spite me- they bought me these beautiful roses! I'm telling you, we have the most smart and polite little girls on the face of the earth- they are already buying gifts and writing Thank you cards!

But I think the gift that topped them all was from the most wonderful man on earth. I swear- God knew exactly what He was doing when he created and designed this man just for me almost 27 years ago. I couldn't have dreamt of a more thoughtful, kind, compassionate, smart and loving person to spend the rest of my life with. I truly love and am even more IN LOVE with this man....than I ever thought was humanly possible. He is incredible- and not because he buys me good gifts- but because he epitomizes what a REAL man is! He has it all...and I am truly blessed and favored by the Lord to have him in my life.

Moving on...because I am getting teary-eyed over here! So anyway....that great man that I just talked about is also very funny and sarcastic...and according to him(which is probably true) I will find a way to mess up a surprise no matter what!! But this time, I am proud of myself because I didn't! So I get up Sunday morning to get ready for church and he says " I don't think I'm gonna make it to church because I'm kinda tired". I knew that he was tired...because the night before- they went out to celebrate a friends birthday. Now in my mind...I'm thinking like my grandma...who always said, "I don't care what you do the night before, or what time you get in...you will go into the house of the Lord on Sunday morning if you are living in my house." Typically, I would have made a big deal about him not going to church...and especially on Mother's Day! But something said....don't say anything. So I didn't!
When I got home from church- he called me upstairs and asked about church. Then he said " It must have felt weird being in church by yourself huh?" So I'm like yeah...but it was cool.
Then he starts to explain the real reason why he didn't go to church. He had to go and get my gift that had finally come in. All week he had been working to get this gift...but since it was such a popular item...they kept running out, the shipment was late, etc. So he prepaid for it and picked it up while I was at church.
As he started to explain the gift..my eyes started watering...This has to be the most thoughtful gift ever...and he has done some pretty extraordinary things in the past 8 years. Here is my gift

Of course, I can't describe word for word what he said...but it went something like this. "I think this is supposed to symbolize two people in love or something...but it means so much more to us than that. It has two hearts that symbolizes our two little girls beating hearts...and no matter what happens or what people say...RIGHT NOW WE HAVE TWO BEATING HEARTS INSIDE OF YOU. One of the hearts is smaller, which symbolizes Nia's heart and the other one is larger which symbolizes Naomi's heart. The best part is that the hearts are connected and intertwined as one...and as long as we love them and share our hearts with them, then everything will be okay.

So by this time..I'm crying uncontrollably. But it couldn't have made more sense to me. I will cherish this gift forever and ever. No matter what happens- I will always be reminded that we had TWO BEATING HEARTS INSIDE OF ME for 9 months.

My first Mother's Day will always be a day that I will remember. It was full of love, happiness, and joy! Thanks to all who made this day very special for me.

After church

2009-05-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

Just seeing if my mobile blogging works!

The nursery is coming along!!

2009-04-26T09:06:00.007-05:00

The girls are currently residing in a very lavish and comfortable five star hotel, and we want to make sure that when they check out in 10 weeks that they are "closing" on a spot that is just as lavish and comfy!! Daddy and some of our friends spent yesterday putting together the furniture that Grandma and Pa-Pa bought them. We are so thankful that they blessed us and the girls with two cribs, two changing tables and a dresser!! These little ladies are already so loved!!!

So anyway, we had a busy day at our house this past saturday! The guys and god mommy Rita came over to help put the furniture together, I hosted our book club, we watched the draft, played monopoly and Buzz on the PS3!! It was a very fun day!! Good food, good friends and good times! We definitely have to keep this up when the girls come- I refuse to be the couple that loses everything that we were before because we have kids! We have to set a good example for them, that it's very healthy to have a balanced life!! So game nights and date nights are still on!

Back to the nursery!!! We still have a long way to go. But we have checked some things off the list:
1) the room is painted- a very pretty lavender/lilac color!
2) the cribs are put together (and they are CUUUTE)
3) one changing table is up. Still trying to decide if we will put both of them in there- I don't want it to be too cluttered
4) the dresser is up
5) I have taken most of my stuff out of their closet and hung up ALL of their clothes that they have received already! We are defintely outgrowing this house already. With all of their clothes and mine...we are in trouble...3 girls..not enough closet space!!

I can't wait to finish the room!! It's going to be amazing. I'll keep you all updated on our progress. Stay tuned.

Here are a few pics...I will add more as we progress!

heartburn, shortness of breath and leg cramps.....

2009-04-24T09:24:00.002-05:00

Okay enough is enough! What does a girl have to go through to have a baby. I thought having two babies growing inside of you....gaining 27 pounds in 27 weeks, feeling uncomfortable most of the time, and the nonstop nausea for 2 months was enough!
But apparently not! Apparently, you gotta have serious heartburn (and I don't think I have ever had heartburn in my life), leg cramps that make you punch your husband 3 times in the middle of the night, and the inability to walk up the stairs in your home without feeling like you need an oxygen tank.
The really sad part is that...I KNOW that this is going to get worse. I know it..I just know it!
I'm really gonna have to figure out how to shake this. Any ideas ladies??!! Help a sister out!

FAITH.....

2009-04-23T13:58:00.002-05:00

"HAVE FAITH" are two words that I have heard very frequently through this journey with Nia's special heart. People from all different backgrounds and age groups tend to speak those words to me- in an attempt to make me feel better.
(I'm really going to try and articulate my feelings in this blog without sounding crazy or setting myself up for backlash...sigh)

I believe that there is a BIG difference in having faith in God's ABILITY and having faith in KNOWING what He is going to do. Many individuals have affirmed their Faith in KNOWING what Gods plan is for Nia. They have told me several times that they "know" that she is going to be fine, that God is going to heal her heart and the Doctors won't find anything wrong with it, and that it will in fact all be okay...so I shouldn't stress about it.

But we don't really know that. What I know is...
1. GOD is able to do ALL THINGS!
2. GOD knows what is best for us, even when it's not what we believe is best for us
3. GOD doesn't make ANY mistakes
4. GOD is a miracle maker
5. GOD is a healer
6. GOD is an all knowing GOD
7. GOD is omnipotent

And most importantly that GOD's WILL will be done. And we never know what HIS will is- or what his plan or purpose is for our lives. So for me to have Faith in KNOWING what his plan is, is a bit naive. I have faith in 100% of my mind, body, and spirit that GOD will do what is best for our baby girl. I believe with all of my heart and soul that HIS WILL will be done. And I am praying that whatever HE decides to do (because He knows best) that HE gives us the strength, peace and patience to get through it.

I want nothing more than for our baby girl to survive all three surgeries and live a very normal, happy and healthy life. I want to shower her with all of the love that I can muster up inside of me and protect her from anything that could hurt her. I want to give her my heart so that she could have a chance at life. I want nothing more than to KNOW that GOD is 100% for sure gonna give her that chance at bringing total happiness to our lives.

But the reality is, I don't know if that will happen. There are two possible outcomes...either it will happen..or it won't. And I'm gonna prepare myself for both of those outcomes. And if anyone believes that because I chose to "deal" with it this way means that I don't have faith...then please understand that I have total faith in GOD and that HIS WILL will be done.

Half of an Angels Heart

2009-04-22T12:52:00.002-05:00

I found this on Gavin's mommy's blog. It is so beautiful...I had to steal it and share it with you all. Feel free to check out his blog (the link is under babies with special hearts. Today he had his last surgery of the 3-stage surgery. He seems to be doing well and mommy says that he is a very active 2 year old!!

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that she is just going for a visit. She is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. She asks, "Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies, "Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart." "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves." -Author Unknown

update on our little mamas

2009-04-22T11:38:00.006-05:00

It's been a minute since I've updated you all on the growing journey of our baby girls...my apologies, but there hasn't really been much to tell except that they are growing...and kicking...and moving around in there a lot!

We have decided on our girls names. We really put a lot of thought into this because we wanted their names to mean something special- and kinda describe who they are. We also wanted them to have "N" names...like their daddy. So here is what we chose!
Nia: (formally known as Fat-Fat) means purpose in Swahili. We figured that with her special heart, God put her in our lives for a special purpose and her existence on earth will serve a great purpose to all of those who come into contact with her.
Naomi: means pleasant and beautiful. She is very pleasant...i'm telling you- this girl doesn't move a whole lot, she is always just chillin! Unlike her rambunctious big sister! The beautiful part is a given...there is no way that these girls won't be drop dead gorgeous...I mean look at their parents :)

As of today Nia weighs 2.5 pounds and Naomi weighs 2 pounds even! I am very happy that they are growing right on schedule and that Nia is still my little fat mama...because the bigger and stronger she is, the better she will be able to withstand her long journey of surgeries that await her.

Speaking of surgeries: Monday, we went back to the Cardiologist (and remember how we asked you all to pray that she would either move closer to the white part of the heart spectrum...or all the way to the Black part of the spectrum), well...she moved completely to the black. Which means that the left side of her heart (which is responsible for pumping blood and oxygen to the brain and the body) didn't develop and can't do its job....thus the diagnosis of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
So in order for Nia to live, she is going to have to get a 3-stage surgery. The first surgery (named after her daddy...how cool) is the Norwood procedure. She will have this within the first week of life. I posted about all of the surgeries a while ago...so if you're interested in learning about them...you can go to the older post titled "Our baby girl has a special heart" (I can't seem to figure out how to link it)

The girls will be delivered at St. Lukes and then they will take her on over to Texas Children's Hospital. This is where all of her surgeries and after care will be done. We couldn't be in a better place right now! TCH was named the 3rd best Hospital for children in the world! So I am very confident that she will receive the best treatment available!

I just can't imagine that her little tiny body is going to have to withstand open heart surgery within the first week of life...but it's what has to be done. I can already tell that she is a little fighter because she definitely moves around like crazy inside her little 5 star hotel that she has lived in for the past 27 weeks. Also, I was talking to someone (can't remember who) but she was talking about how resilient babies are, and how they recover so quickly from things that we would whine and cry about for months!

Anyway- in about 10 weeks, our journey will begin with her surgeries, recovery, rehab, etc. So please keep us in your prayers!

So long T.I...we'll see you in a year!

2009-03-27T09:13:00.003-05:00

Today, T.I will go to jail. He will serve one year and day...or as little as 10 months if he has good behavior. Prior to going to jail he served 300 days of home confinement, attended more than 260 events and earned 1,006 hours of community service credit

While he is away- I hope that he will write some really good music and give us a great CD when he returns home.
Until then, I will continue to bump Paper Trail, Trap Muzik, The King, Urban Legend, T.I vs T.IP and some underground songs on my Iphone!
Good luck in there homey!

Twins had their first shower in ATL this weekend!

2009-03-25T14:37:00.004-05:00

We had a blast! Thank you to everyone who came and blessed our little girls with such wonderful gifts. They are loved so much already!
If you would like to see the rest of the photos feel free to check them out on facebook. With this link you do not have to be a member!
Hope you enjoy!
For some reason its not letting me make it a link...so just copy and paste it in your browser if you would like to see the pics.

http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=37512237&k=43B45Z5ZW6YM5GEBTB2TTR

got dumped today!

2009-03-09T13:41:00.003-05:00

Today, we went to see my OB doctor. The visits to her office are normally pretty quick and not all that exciting! But she is always very nice and answers a lot of questions!
She informed us that she is dumping ME! Since our baby girl has this special heart, they will need to be delivered at St. Lukes hospital and not Women's hospital where we were supposed to deliver. Well, my OB doesn't have priviledges to deliver there...she's gonna pass me on the the Twin Specialist. This is cool and all...but I don't think I've ever been dumped before!
I know that they are doing what's best for our babies...so I'm not complaining. But dang...I got dumped this morning! She said we can get back together after the babies are born for my routine check-ups!

Overjoyed!

2009-03-09T13:23:00.002-05:00

Last night was AMAZING! We had over 60 people come together and pray for our baby girl last night on a conference call (there may be more, but my friend said when she called in there were 56 people on the line...and more beeped in after that). I couldn't believe how powerful this event was...I will never forget it!
In the beginning as people were logging on, it felt like a big family reunion! Everyone checked in and said their names...and then we all spoke like we hadn't seen or talked to each other in ages (which some of us hadn't). But it was a lot of fun! Both of our families and our friends were all there for this intercessory prayer.
Uncle Bubba started it off with the purpose of the call...then Nick and I gave the update on the babies (you can read my previous post to get that info if you were not on the line)...then Uncle Bounce did the opening prayer, Grandma said a few words and sang a song...which my friend Rita said that she sounded like Maya Angelou (she just laughed when I told her that). I definitely agree with her, Grandma just has that power in her voice that makes you feel that everything will be okay...I LOVE IT!
Now here is when the tears started to flow...my Uncle Kevin began to pray the prayer of healing. It was absolutely amazing and so powerful. This man can pray..I mean granted he is a Pastor...but still everyone can't pray a very powerful prayer. So many people called and texted me after the conference call talking about his prayer and of course my hilarious father in-law! Hearing my uncle's words really increased my belief that everything will be okay- and even if it doesn't turn out the way we want it to...we will still be okay because God is in control and he never makes any mistakes. I am at peace.
After the prayer, a few people told us how much they loved us and that they were praying for us...and we even got some offers to babysit! I hope they remember that they said that because we will be taking them up on that offer!! So I hope you all were telling the truth!
I really am speechless, I mean I can't truly describe how overjoyed I felt last night...just knowing that so many people love and care about us..and our girls already. I mean, these little girls have such a huge support system already. We had over 60 people from about 10 states all over the Country....that speaks VOLUMES!
We are just so blessed and I am so thankful!
I will forever be grateful to Uncle Bubba for thinking enough of us and our girls to put this all together.
We love you all!

50/50 chance sounds good to me!

2009-03-07T09:27:00.008-06:00

Our visit to Texas Childrens hospital was the best visit we have had during this whole pregnancy. We left with a peace of mind and a little more hope than what we walked in with. This was actually one of the first visits that I didn't leave out crying!!
Anyway, we went for the Echocardiograph which took an in depth look at Fat Fats heart. They examined her heart for about an hour!! Which was quite amazing, not that we knew what they were looking at...but it was entertaining to see them playing in there for that long. The results showed that she does have a Hypoplastic heart but that it's not as severe as we had thought. She explained it to us like this: there is a spectrum of hypoplastic hearts. The worst case is black and a normal heart is white (skinny has white), Fat Fat is borderline between gray and dark gray. There is some blood flowing through the left ventricle, but the aortic valve and mitrovalve are small. She believes that there is a 50/50 chance that the aorta and mitrovalve will grow some more and she could move to the light gray/dirty white part of the spectrum...or it could not get better and she can move to the black part of the spectrum. This was good news to us because we thought she was already in the black. We go back in 6 weeks to get another echo done to see if there is any growth to her aortic valve and mitrovalve. She did explain that being borderline which is where she is, is worst than being in the black area. Because the left side is working a little bit, it will start pulling on the right side to do some work, which will in turn make the heart work too hard and it'll be harder to fix. She said we want her to move closer to the white, but if it's in Gods will for her to have a hypoplastic heart, then we want him to move her closer to the black- because it will be easier to try and fix. It was rereshing that she was spiritual...she talked a lot about prayer and miracles and faith...which seems to be rare with medical professionals, especially our twin specialist! But she said that we should pray for very specific things- just like the word says. So we are praying that her left aortic valve and mitrovalve grow over the next 16 weeks of my pregnancy so that she has two working ventricles!! If this happens, she will still need surgery but it won't be nearly as bad as if she goes to the black or stays where she is.
One thing for sure is, this little diva in training is a fighter! She is already kicking her sister like crazy in there and she is taking up all the space. Seems like she has a very strong personality and she won't give up easily!! She doesn't have a clue that she has a special heart because she is so active and full of energy in there already!! The Doctor must have said 10 times that she was a very active baby!!
Oh and you know how we call her Fat Fat and some people have an issue with that... But her being so ahead of my pregnancy could possibly help her! The Dr said that most babies with heart problems are smaller- but since she is a big baby, she will be stronger and it's a positive in helping her beat this. So I'm gonna keep calling my precious baby girl fat fat while she is in utero and then I'll cut it out once she gets here!! LOL.
Tomorrow night our family and friends are having a prayer conference call to pray for Fat Fats heart. So wherever you are at 7:30/6:30 central time please take a few minutes to pray for our baby. I am just so overjoyed with all of he love and support that we are receiving that all I can say is thank you very much!
By the way...I slept through the night for the first time in about a month!!

I have pics to put up that we took at Texas Childrens, but I'm blogging on my phone and they are on my fancy Nikon hat my boo got me for Christmas. I'll put them on when I get to my computer.
Keep us in your prayers!!!

We felt them kick or punch or something!!

2009-03-05T08:33:00.002-06:00

Last night was amazing!! For the first time EVER, we actually felt our baby girls doing something in there! I really oculdn't tell if they were kicking or punching...but whatever they were doing- we felt it!
I was lying down, on the Internet...looking at more HLHS blogs and I felt something funny....so I put my hand on my belly and there it was...a little thump! Then I felt it again!! I called Nick and told him to hurry home so that he could feel it (of course after he picked up my two taco combo from Taco Cabana!)
When he got home, they had stopped moving...but as soon as I ate- they were in full motion! Nick said that he read somewhere that they are the most active after they eat...and they definitely proved that to be true!! This was such an amazing experience...I will never forget the first time I actually felt our baby girls say hi to us. I think that's what they were doing....saying "what's up mommy and daddy....we're here!!"I can't wait to meet them!
For now we will just have to settle for seeing them on the screen! We go to see the Twin Specialist today so we will get to see the little ones! Hopefully all legs are closed and they are acting like the little ladies that they will be...BC mama ain't playing with little fast girls!! LOL

coming full circle

2009-03-04T15:26:00.003-06:00

It's funny how things in life happen and you never really know why or what the impact could have on your life in the future. In 2002 when the movie John Q came out, I was so moved and inspired by the story that I became an organ donor. While watching this movie, my heart went out to this family and I went that same weekend to change my drivers license to organ donor status. I figured that if my organs could save someone else's life, then I would like to help in any way possible. After all, I would be dead and have no use for them. It's funny because whenever this movie is on TV and I'm around people...the first thing I say is "man, this movie changed my life, I became an organ donor after watching it."

I never would have thought in a million years that 7 years later I could possibly be in the exact same position of this family- fighting for my childs heart and praying for someone to donate a healthy matching heart for my little girl.

If you aren't an organ donor, you should really consider it because you never know who's life you may be able to save. People would always tell me that I shouldn't be an organ donor because the Doctors wouldn't try and save me if I were in the hospital fighting for my life...well I see it like this...if it's your time to go, then you're gonna go. They would also say that you never know if they will even use your organs to save someone's life, that they could do other things with them. And if they did, then hopefully they could use them to make medical improvements or help Doctors become better Doctors. It doesn't matter because I'm dead anyway!!

Anyway, it's just really funny how life happens...and how things connect one way or another. Just thought i'd share that.

Peace out

our baby girl has a very special heart.

2009-03-03T09:40:00.006-06:00

It has been quite a while since I have taken the time to share my thoughts with the world. This past month has been an emotional roller coaster for my family and I. I am very hesitant to write this post right now and have been for the past month, but I know that I can only find strength in God, and with your prayers, maybe that strength and peace will come sooner. I have been given a bit of inspiration by reading blogs of other moms who have been or is currently going through what you are about to read about. Thanks Leigh Anne for pointing me in the direction of these women.

So here goes...Around our 12th week of pregnancy, we went to visit our Twin Specialist and he noticed that Fat Fat had some extra fluid on the back of her neck. He told us that this could mean a couple of things: it could be a heart defect or a sign of a chromosomal problem like Down Syndrome. He mentioned that her heart looked abnormal but that it was way too early to tell. We then took a blood test to check the risk of the fluid being caused by chromosomal abnormalities- the test came back an increased risk and they advised us to have an amniocentesis done to confirm or reject whether our girls would have down syndrome- because if Fat Fat had it, then Skinny would too because they are identical. (sidebar- skinny really isn't skinny or underweight, she is actually right on time...Fat Fat is just about a week ahead of my pregnancy schedule). That same day that we got the results from the blood test, we had an ultrasound done and a different Specialist in the office said that he was concerned about her heart too. He said that it looked like she was missing a chamber in her heart...that all four hadn't formed- but again it was too early to tell. He too advised us to have the amnio done. We scheduled the amnio- we had to wait until I was 16 weeks to decrease the risk of miscarriage since they stick a very long needle in my belly into the girls amniotic sac to get cells from their fluid.

On February 13, 2009 we go for our amnio. In order to do the amnio test, the Doctor has to do an ultrasound. While he is looking at the babies- getting ready for the test...he starts to really look at Fat Fat's heart. He spends a lot of time measuring and clicking and taking pictures...and then he tells us that it seems as if the left side of heart did not develop completely. That she has a severe heart defect and would be a very sick baby. After he says this- he is called to go and deliver a baby across the street. Mind you, he just told us that our baby girl has a severe heart defect and then he leaves and tells us that he will be back in about 20 minutes because he has to deliver a baby. SO IMMEDIATELY WE DO WHAT THEY TELL US NOT TO DO. WE GOOGLE IT WHILE HE IS GONE!

An underdeveloped left heart also known as Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) is a very rare and one of the most severe Congenital Heart Diseases that there is. HLHS is a condition in which the left side of the heart is underdeveloped, causing complications in the heart’s ability to pump oxygenated blood out to the body.

This affects one in 5,000 babies. Left untreated, HLHS is fatal, usually within the first few days or weeks of life.

There are really only two options for Fat Fat to beat this heart condition. She can have surgery and wait on a heart transplant.

The surgery involves a three-stage operation designed to re-route the blood from the lungs, through the right side of the heart, and out to the body by circumventing blockages on the left side.
Stage I (Norwood- named after her daddy..so this must be a good sign) Typically, the first operation is performed within the first few days after birth. To improve blood flow to the body, the main lung (pulmonary) artery and body artery (small aorta) are linked to make a new, larger aorta. A passage or shunt is created using soft plastic (Gore-Tex) to provide blood flow to the lungs. The wall separating the heart’s top two chambers is also removed.
Stage II (Glenn Shunt) Normally performed between four and nine months of age, the second operation reduces the workload of the heart and removes the Gore-Tex shunt. Blood from the head, neck and upper body is routed to the lung arteries. This allows blood to flow into the lungs for oxygen
Stage III (Fontan) The third operation is performed as the child begins to develop the need for more blood flow to the lungs. This surgical procedure is designed to separate the red (oxygenated) and blue (unoxygenated) blood and will improve the child’s energy levels. A wall is created in the right collecting chamber and the chamber is attached on the base of the lung artery.

This surgery doesn't FIX the problem, it just reworks some things so that she can live a normal life.

So as you can imagine I'm crying by now and Nick is of course still researching on the handy dandy Iphone. The Doctor comes back from delivering a very healthy baby and wants to look at her heart some more. He confirms that it is in fact HLHS and tells us of our options. He says very bluntly that we can do a selective termination before 24 weeks; we could have the surgery; and get on the list and wait for a heart transplant once she is born. (information overload at this point and I'm really not comprehending anything) He says that he is going to send a referral to Texas Children's Hospital so that we can get an Echocardiograph done- which is basically a more fancy ultrasound of her heart. This will give us a better understanding of what exactly is going on and what our options are once she is born.

Now, he is ready for the amnio!! And all the anxiety that I had prior to coming to his office for the amnio has gone to hell and all I can think about is my baby girls heart. Yes the amnio was uncomfortable- but it was the least of my worries.

We got the results back from the amnio and THANK GOD everything is normal- no chromosomal defects= no down syndrome. With those results, we know that at least one of the girls is healthy....and we are praying that Fat Fat pulls through and gets healthy too.

We go this Friday to get the Echocardiograph done and the closer we get to the day, the more anxious I get. The good news is that, we live in Houston with one of the BEST Children's Hospitals in the Country- so our baby girl will be in good hands. We are very lucky because people all over the Country travel to come here to have their children treated in a hospital that is 20 minutes away from our home.

I have been trying to keep myself busy at work and not think about it. It helps, but as soon as I'm alone, my mind starts to wander and I think about her. I have not been able to sleep through the night since we have found out about her special heart. I feel helpless because there is nothing that I can do to protect her from this. I can not fix her heart and make it better. Our Pastor preached about "worrying" and not trusting in God...and I felt like he was talking to me. But it is truly difficult to not worry about our precious baby girl. It has been so hard not to think about what she will have to go through- if she will make it, or what kind of life she will have. I KNOW that God is able and will not put more on us than we can handle- and that He never makes a mistake...but the part that worries me is not knowing what His plan is...I KNOW that he is a miracle maker and can fix it, but is that what He wants to do? I keep looking and asking God for peace and understanding through all of this. I know that we can not control what HE has in His plan...and Lord knows that I wouldn't want to....I just pray that whatever the outcome is-that He gives us the strength to deal with it. I have had so many different emotions and feelings...many of which I have never really experienced before, which is pretty scary. Nick has been so strong through all of this for me- and I hope that I am able to return the favor to him when he needs it- because I know that he will. But the good thing is that for the past week and a half I have been able to talk about it without tearing up. So I guess I'm getting a little bit stronger.

I hate to keep going on and on with this post...but I just ask that if you are reading this and you believe in God and the power of prayer that you please add our baby girl to your conversations with your God. Please also pray for our families strength, peace and understanding. This is going to be a very long road and we are going to need as much prayer as possible.

Thank you in advance!

ritalin and a chastity belt!

2009-02-05T10:42:00.004-06:00

So a few days ago we had an ultrasound (we get these frequently BC of the twins) and looking at our two little girls play around in there like they were at a jungle gym was quite amusing.

Now, I already told you guys about fat-fat and skinny (my MIL told me to stop calling her that BC she can hear me and will have self-esteem issues...so I'm typing it BC she can't read just yet!).

Anyway, fat-fat is in there taking up all the space, doing flips, moving so fast that the nurse couldn't even get her heartbeat. The nurse and the Ultrasound tech both told us that we are gonna have some problems with her! I guess she got tired and decided that she was just gonna suck her thumb..which was so cute! But a half of second later- she was back at it!! Now looking at the screen- she is bogarding most of the space...and poor little skinny was balled up in the left corner...just chillen. So apparently we are gonna have a very "active" daughter and one that is kinda chill, relaxed and nonchalant! So there will be a balance!

Oh, not only was fat-fat acting like she had been let loose at Chuckee-Cheese...she had her legs cocked open!! I'm thinking oh hell naw...I do not have a little fast daughter already!! She just had her legs gapped open for the world to see her little private parts!! I told them that she did not get that from me, because I was not fast!! She must have gotten that from her Auntie Nikki!

So I'm just wondering, is there any way that the Doctor can inject fat-fat with a shot of Ritalin and place a chastity belt on her when she comes out....because I can just see it now....this one is gonna take a lot of work!! Y'all pray for us!

"Be a rainbow in somebody's cloud"

2009-02-03T10:27:00.008-06:00

This past Saturday, my sisterfriend Rita took me and her mothers to see the World renown Dr. Maya Angelou. (This lady has 60 Honorary Doctorates..wow!) It was such an amazing experience! To sit and listen to her speak and sing for an hour and a half was pure bliss. At 80 years old- this fiesty, sarcastic, educated, intelligent, multilingual, funny, wise, beautiful woman kept me in total awe from the moment she walked on the stage.

She said that she had initially come to give us some poetry....but decided to tell her story instead. I read I Know Why the Caged Birds Sing- so I was familiar with a lot of the stories that she told...it was just great to be able to connect with her through her writing and her speech.

She was there to speak to the youth of Houston. The Brilliant Lecture Series and Capital One Bank brought her to the city to speak to many students as well as adults. She was there to encourage them to excel in life- to not give up and live life to their fullest potential. She asked them "why not you?? Why can't you be the man or woman who finds the cure to Breast Cancer, to MS, to AIDS...somebody has to do it-so why can't it be you?" The kids and adults all applauded as she gave our youth hope for the future.

She had sooo many wise things to say- but I was so caught up that I forgot to write them down until the very end!! So here are some of the things that I hope will impact my life as I continue to journey through this thing called life. I wish I could have had the opportunity to sit down and speak to her for a few moments. She is full of wisdom that should be shared with people all over the World.

"I'm 80 years old and I'm still processing....don't ever stop processing this stuff...never stop learning. You can never know too much or enough."

" You have already been paid for"

"When you get- give, and when you learn- teach"

"Be a rainbow in somebody's cloud"
"I am a human being, nothing human can be alien to me"

"Don't expect that because you want it, you got it"

Rita and I after the Dr. Maya Angelou conversation.

Thanks Rita for this great experience. Thanks for that night too :)-

Black designers mad at Michelle....she just can't win!

2009-01-27T08:40:00.005-06:00

On my way to work this morning, I'm listening to the Tom Joyner Morning Show and I heard the most ridiculous thing that I've heard this week...and mind you...I sit and listen to people all day everyday!

Apparently, the Black Artist Association is mad at Michelle Obama for not wearing a Black designers clothes during the Inaugural festivities. They have even taken it as far as trying to appeal to her office. Seriously, since when did Michelle and Barack have to be the end all be all when it comes to Black folks and our stuff. She is not obligated to support every single Black business in this Country. Maybe she didn't like the designs....who knows. But we can't act like they have to be and do everything Black. That's a bit ridiculous if you ask me.

Here is what they had to say:

The Black Artists Association is taking her to task for not wearing anything by an African American designer. Cofounder Amnau Eele said Wednesday she will make a formal appeal to the First Lady’s office on behalf of the BAA. “It’s fine and good if you want to be all ‘Kumbaya’ and ‘We Are the World’ by representing all different countries. But if you are going to have Isabel Toledo do the inauguration dress, and Jason Wu do the evening gown, why not have Kevan Hall, B Michael, Stephen Burrows or any of the other black designers do something too?” Eele said.
Then Women’s Wear Daily threw in the kicker:
Asked if perhaps the First Lady isn’t looking at the world colorlessly, Eele said, “It’s one thing to look at the world without color but she had seven slots to wear designer clothes. Why wasn’t she wearing the clothes of a black designer? That was our moment.”

What got me out of all of this was..."that was our moment" Who's moment? Wasn't it our moment when a Black man got elected to be the President. Wasn't it our moment when the First Black family moved into the White House. I mean seriously, what more do we want.

This lady can choose to wear whatever she wants to wear- and by whomever she wants to design it. Get a grip people.

Mr. President Barack Hussein Obama....I love it!

2009-01-23T08:53:00.004-06:00

Sorry for the delay...I have been experiencing some Internet problems.

All day yesterday I was sitting here trying to figure out how I would write something on my experience in Washington, D.C for the Inaugural festivities. I thought about writing how wonderful the feeling was to be there; about how many people were there for one cause; about how cold it was; about how much walking we had to do; about someone getting hit by the train. But all I could think about were words like BLESSED, AMAZING, EXCITING and MISERABLE (because it was so freaking cold)

I remember being in second grade in 1990, and my teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said that I wanted to be a news reporter, another girl said said she wanted to a doctor, someone else said astronaut, and one boy said that he wanted to be the President. The teacher began to tell us all how we could be those things if we worked really hard- because after all we could be anything we wanted to be! But no one really believed that this boy could be the President. There wasn't a President that looked like us or came from our neighborhoods- so how could he really grow up to be the President of this "free" world. Now when teachers ask students what they want to be and they say President, they can really believe that they have a chance, because someone has paved the way for them. So many men and women paved the way for President Obama and now he is doing the same for our children.

I was reading in the newspaper and Chris Paul ( a basketball player) said that he is so excited about the positive impact that this is having on children. He said when he used to asks kids who they wanted to be like- they would say Michael Jordan, Kobe, and Lebron...now when he asks them, they say that they want to be like Barack Obama. Our kids don't just have athletes, actors, and rappers to look up to- they actually have a person that looks like them, a first lady that looks like their mama's and they believe that that too can be them one day.

So to describe my experience in DC...I will just say that I am so blessed and proud to be alive today where after hundreds of years after slavery, a Black man came be the President of the United States of America and live in the house that our ancestors built with their blood, sweat and tears. That after years of segregation, race riots, and the civil rights movement, people of all nationalities, skin colors and geographic locations can come together to support and celebrate a man named Barack Hussein Obama who happens to be Black. I am just really happy on the inside...and I will always be grateful to have experienced this wonderful time in history.

Here are a few pics from the trip.

Thank you Candace & Regi

2009-01-19T21:40:00.002-06:00

When people say that one should get a dog before they have a baby because it's good practice...has some truth to it!
Whenever we decide to go out of town we have to find a sitter for our first son Ryan. For the Thanksgiving holidays- we took him with us to visit our families...and it was cool...he did great. Unfortunately, bringing him to DC for the Inauguration was out of the question!
Thank God we have good friends, who love us...as well as our dog ! Candace and Regi are babysitting Ryan for us for a whole 5 days. They are so sweet.....and not to mention, they already have two dogs of their own.
They didn't charge us a nightly fee...so we're hoping that they let us take them to dinner when we get back. It's really the least that we can do!
Just wanted to say thank you to my friend...I LOVE YOU!

By the way- I had a terrible dream last night about Ryan. I dreamt that he got hit by a car and I found him on the curb in our subdivision. I took him to the vet...and she said that he had 2 broken legs and it would cost $5000 to fix him. She asked if we had insurance...and of course we don't have doggie insurance!! Then she suggested that we put him to sleep if we couldn't afford it. I cried and cried...and told her to put us on a payment plan! It was such a sad dream. I think I was just missing my little man!
I know that he is safe and in good hands! Thanks again Candie Cane!

Black people...don't do it to your kids!

2009-01-16T12:30:00.004-06:00

This comic strip is HILARIOUS! You know people are about to start naming their kids after Barack and Michelle asap. When I saw this, I couldn't stop laughing because it is so true! ROTFL at Obamalita Jackson. A hot mess...Black people don't do it to your children...PLEASE!

Anyway- we leave tomorrow to go to DC and attempt to attend some events. We don't have tickets to the Inauguration or any Balls...but being in the atmosphere is gonna be enough for me! I imagine that its gonna be so packed that we may not be able to do a whole lot...but it's cool. And who knows, we may luck up!

I'm trying to figure out where I'm about to get some warm clothes from...BC it's gonna be COLD! Gotta make sure I wrap up because I do not want to get sick.

I probably won't be able to blog while we're gone...so don't miss me too much!

And if you are pregnant or plan to get pregnant anytime soon....DO NOT NAME YOUR BABY ANY OF THE ABOVE NAMES...because I will talk about you!!!
Hoooooooolllllaaaa!

2+2= a family of 4!!

2009-01-15T08:17:00.003-06:00

On November 13, 2008 my husband and I were ecstatic to find out that we had conceived a child through pure love and of course intimacy. This was one of the happiest days of our marriage! We found out right at four weeks because we did the whole track the ovulation days, buy a buncha home pregnancy test thing. So on the day that my cycle was supposed to come...I took the test. (No I didn't miss my period yet...but they have the test that you can tell 5 days before a missed period.) Anyway, Nick looked at the stick and he thought that it was only one line like the test from last month. But the line was just a little faint!! So I went to look at the test and of course I saw TWO lines! We were so excited...but still a little skeptical since the line was so faint. Once I got to work, I took a digital test that showed the word PREGNANT! I was convinced! We were so excited!!

Moving on to December 3, 2008, our first visit to the Doctor for an ultrasound. We go in...ready to see our baby on the screen....and what does she say but this: "Wow, looks like there are two in there." and I said "Who?? Who got two in there...two of what??" and then I immediately started crying. I couldn't believe it! I wish I could sit here and tell you that I was crying tears of joy because I always wanted twins and that this is what I had been praying and dreaming for my whole life! But I told you that I am working on this authenticity thing.....so to be totally authentic, I was crying because she started talking about all of the risks of identical twins and how she couldn't tell if they were in their own sac...and how that could pose all other kinds of problems...something about Twin to Twin Transfusion...and how we had to go see a Specialist (and by that time I had tuned her completely out as she is rubbing on my leg- consoling me)....and really on top of all of that, I was crying because I didn't know what we were gonna do with TWO babies at one time, two cribs, two car seats, two daycare expenses, two babies crying at night, two babies that needed to be breastfed...I WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK!

I went through this whole shock, overwhelming, anxiety, half way slight depression thing for about a week! I felt so guilty because everyone was soooooo excited and I wasn't there yet. I was sick and freaking out! My husband did such a great job of putting things into perspective for me. He allowed me time to feel how I felt and still helped me to try and feel better about it. He never made me feel bad for having these very normal feelings...and I appreciate him so much for that. (this is why I love him so much)

Moving on....we went to see the Specialist about a week later and found out wonderful news! Our OB Doctor said that she couldn't tell if they were in their own amniotic sac...and the Specialist clearly saw two amniotic sacs..which was a HUGE relief! They share a Chorion sac (which is the big sac..and how we know they are identical) and then in the big sac, they are in their own amniotic sacs! We also heard their heartbeats. I think hearing the heartbeats was the best thing for me...because I started to feel some excitement about our two babies. Still scared....but excited!

As the time went on, I began to really appreciate the blessing that has been bestowed upon my husband and I . Identical twins are very rare...and no one even knows how it happens- not Scientist, Doctors, Researchers...nobody. For some freak of nature the one egg that is fertilized is split a couple days after conception. This truly is a sign that God is real and does things exactly how he wants it. And for HIM to believe that we would be able to take care of two of his babies at one time is enough for me. Then I started thinking about how cute and fun it's gonna be watching them grow up and seeing their different personalities, dressing them, and them trying to play tricks on us and everyone else..lol! Then the more positive things I started to think about- the less overwhelmed I felt.

Today at 13 weeks...and I am very proud to be able to carry two little baby girls that will be brought into this world sometime around the beginning of July. My feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, completely freaked out are pretty much gone...and all I really think about now is paying daycare for two babies!! Has anyone looked at the prices lately!! But seriously, I am very happy to be in this place. 6 weeks ago, I wasn't here and didn't think that I would be...but I am. By the grace of God, my wonderful supportive husband who is obsessed with these babies already, great friends and family, and a little time for me process this and put things in perspective..I AM HERE IN A GREAT PLACE!

We're having two babies at one time, that will cry through the night, need their pampers changed, need to eat, need two of everything, break the bank on daycare, and bring us so much joy and happiness. I am excited!

Meet twins A (fat fat)& B (skinny)! This picture was at 8 weeks...our most recent ultrasound isn't letting me take a good picture of it. But we go back next Friday and I promise to get a better picture and show you how big they are now! They are much bigger than this...we can actually see their faces...nose, eyes, big heads, arms...they are already super cute! I can't wait to meet these two little divas!

can black folks get lice??

2009-01-14T13:56:00.002-06:00

Today, one of my favorite students here discovered she had head lice. So my co-worker has her in her office and she is just talking about lice...and how you get it, how we have to keep her in the office so it doesn't spread...and how she had it when she was younger. Then some of our front office staff were talking about how they had or it- or people they knew had it. So they asked me, have you ever had lice? And of course, I said "no, you know, I don't think Black people can get lice." And they all just laughed...but I was dead serious. I don't know anyone who is Black that has ever had lice. So me, being the inquisitive person that I am....googles it! And there are many articles that justify why it is very hard for Black people to get lice.
1. The heat we put in our hair (kills the lice)
2. The texture of our hair ( too kinky for lice to wrap around)
3. the products that we use ( too greasy for lice to hold on to!)

That makes sense I guess. I was telling one of my other co-workers who is also Black...that hey, we dodged a bullet! I guess we deserve a pass on something since we we already have too many Black people with high blood pressure, diabetes (sugar as my grandma used to call it), cancer, HIV, high cholesterol. I'll gladly take that pass on lice!! Thank you very much!

96 years of a beautiful legacy!

2009-01-13T09:02:00.004-06:00

Today, 96 years ago, the above 22 phenomenal women, on the campus of Howard University founded the most magnificent public service organization in the Universe! I am so proud to be a part of this sisterhood where so many wonderful women have come and done great things for this organization, the Black community and our Country. I am so honored to wear the same shield over my heart as Dorothy Irene Height, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones, Gwendolyn E. Boyd, Barbara Jordan, Frankie Freeman, Shirley Chisolm, Ida B. Wells, Mary Church Terrell, Nikki Giovanni, Johnetta B. Cole and Fannie Lou Hamer to name a few. I hope that one day I will be able to leave the legacy and make a lasting contribution to our community just as so many wonderful women of Delta have done before me and are doing it today! OO-OOP

Below are two poems that I found online that I liked a lot and wanted to share with you all. Please enjoy!!

SHE IS DELTA SIGMA THETA

She is the embodiment of charity and patience

The epitome of sisterhood and fortitude

Through her emanates a torch of light

Glistening rays of sisterly servitude

Forging forth in virtues' stride

Holding fast her cardinals plain

Through her beams a will to survive

A grand history to maintain

As the Pyramids on the sands of Egypt

She is a phenomenal creation-her stature great

She treads a path of her own mind

Succumbing not to peer pressure or acts of fate

Who can she be, this woman of character fine?

Transcending those of mere majority

A sister - - DeSTined to Shine

She is DELTA SIGMA THETA SORORITY!

written by Soror Rachelle Guillory

DISTINGUISHED

By Paula Marshall

Distinctive, devoted, delightful, dedicated

women of distinction,carrying themselves proud yet humble

as the young girl is surrounded by the elders,

she gazes at these...women of distinction,

dreaming that someday she could be like them too

honored, revered,cherished and loved,

yet with all the love and honoring they receive

they carry themselves with more humility than you and me

those are the women of distinction

they pass through a crowd and stand out

only because they know what it is to live with and without

they know what it is to work hard without recognition

as they ripened on the tree and their flowers bloomed

they hung gently from the tree

suddenly to be noticed by you and me

because that is not what they're all about

but because you can't ignore the doctors, the lawyers, the dreamers who live the dream

the aspiring women who created hope in us

the women who would not stay on the back of the bus

the warriors when no one else would fight

the leaders when few wanted to follow

This is to say thanks to those who made it possible for me to be here today,

living my dream among the crop as the cream.

This poem is dedicated to our 22 illustrious founders.

trying to play the substitute

2009-01-12T12:32:00.004-06:00

I remember being in school and my whole class would try to get over on the sub...by telling him/her what the teacher would let us do- even though we knew our teacher would never let us do that. We would break all kinds of rules and go to the bathroom, etc....bc hey, we had a sub and it was more like a free day. After all, the sub typically didn't work at our school and really didn't know the rules anyway.
But this year at YES Prep Southeast, money is a little tight...so all the subs are in house...and we all know the deal. Teachers and staff subbing for each other all the time. Anyway, this morning I was called and asked to sub a 5th period Junior U.S History class. Okay, no biggie...I say yes (not like we have much of a choice if you have a free period...it's the expectation)
Anyway- the teacher leaves the lesson plan...which says, work on these sections in your book, and it's due tomorrow in class. Well more than half of the class didn't have their books....(they claim he never asks them to bring it to class)...so then I allow them to go to their lockers and get the books....and still some of them don't have their books because they left them at home (very interesting).
So then, me being the nice person I am...tell them that they can work while talking softly...but if they get too loud or off task then I will have to shut it down and it will be quiet work time. I'm thinking, these are very mature 11th graders, they can get their work done while chit chatting every now and then with their friends. WRONG! Some of them are writing....most of them are not. So I shut it down...no talking..just do your work.
Then...a few students attempt to convince me that their teacher allows them to listen to their Ipods while working. Now this may be true for a Friday or a study hall time...but it's not happening today on my watch!
Now there always has to be a group that tries you...so a table of 4 boys talk the entire time...even though I am sitting right in front of them. I ask them several times to stop talking...I even separate them...still they keep talking. Enough is enough...take out your demerit cards ( I say to them) and these wise guys tried to play me by giving me their demerit cards from last quarter...REALLY???? Am I that slow, they actually thought that would work on me. I started to give them a detention for being smart behinds...but I let it ride...bc after all it was funny that they thought it would work!
Some things never change....life just goes in circles! I'm sure we would have tried to pull something like that at North Atlanta High back in the day!

Call the SPCA

2009-01-08T08:31:00.002-06:00

Okay, I have to confess to the world today...that I have to be the worst doggie mommy in the history of the world. Seriously, I'm being a little over dramatic right now...but it was pretty bad!Last night, I let Ryan out for his evening bathroom check....and before I went back upstairs...I ATTEMPTED to let him back in. He acted like he didn't want to come in, so I gave him two more minutes. I opened the door again and he still stood there and looked at me kinda crazy- so I closed the door, cut the light off and went upstairs. When I got upstairs, I told the hubby that Ryan must have wanted to spend the night outside because he didn't come back in. My intentions were to give him about 30 minutes to play and then let him back in. WELL....I fell asleep and poor Ryan really spent the night outside in the cold.
Now some of you may be like..."girl please, it's a dog...they can sleep outside." And this I know, but Ryan is a little boughetto...even though he was found on the side of the street...he has transformed into a house dog all the way!
Moving on, I didn't realize that he was outside the entire time until I woke up at 6:30 this morning. When I let him in...he seemed fine- but when I went back downstairs he was curled up in the corner looking traumatized. Poor baby must have had some flashbacks of when he used to run the mean streets of Houston as a pup! I hope he feels better by the time I get home today. I feel terrible....I think I'm gonna go buy him a treat.

why won't someone fix my freakin computer?????

2009-01-07T15:24:00.004-06:00

My work computer has had a virus on it for about a month now. Now, it wouldn't be a big deal if I was a super smart person and backed all my files up on a USB drive. But clearly, I didn't do that AND I NEED MY FILES!
I don't understand how it can take a kazillion years for someone to fix a virus on a computer. I'm pretty sure they haven't even thought about my little ol' computer- considering we have so many other technological issues going on in this school. I'm really frustrated right now because if they do not fix my computer soon, I am gonna have to redo a lot of work and I really don't want to do that.
But someone always told me that there is a lesson in all that we do....and I guess my lesson today is to BACK UP MY FILES BECAUSE I CAN NEVER TRUST THAT MY COMPUTER WILL ALWAYS WORK!

I'm done ranting...I just wanted to get that out.

Moving towards authenticity

2009-01-06T16:02:00.007-06:00

When I first started this blog, I wrote about how I was searching to discover the real, true me and not who everyone wanted me to be- or thought I should be. To not try and be "Perfect Patty" for everyone else who attempts to see who I am.
For the longest I have always tried to live a life that would separate me from the statistic that I am "supposed" to be. By that I mean, growing up in the projects of Atlanta, I'm supposed to be uneducated, on welfare, unable to articulately speak, have a few different babies daddy's, work a menial job (if any job at all) and not have much going for myself. Since I was in 8th grade, I made the conscious decision that that was not who I wanted to be. I wanted to be different- I wanted to be like the girls who would come from Spelman and Clark Atlanta to volunteer at the community center. I wanted to be like some of my teachers that I looked up to. I wanted to be like Richard, my neighbor who went to Morehouse and then went to Medical School...and he still made time to help me with my math. I wanted to be something other than a girl from Mechanicsville. So I did!
I never wanted to do or say anything in public that would make me seem otherwise. I went to a Magnet High School outside of my neighborhood and began to associate with people who had different environments than I did. I became really close to my mentor Brenda whom I love so much for showing me life outside of the hood and really encouraging me to be my very best. I completely became this person that I had to be.
In my neighborhood, my friends and other people around would say that I was starting to act and talk "white" that I didn't act like I was from the hood. That I thought that I was better than them. None of that was true- I didn't think I was better than them...I just didn't want to be like so many of the people in my neighborhood. I completely shifted.
I remember the incident that helped me realize that I was taking this thing a bit over the top...I was in College- a few days from graduation and my girlfriends and I went out. We all were from different parts of the Country, so we would be going our separate ways and we had to celebrate!
Anyway- we went out to this bar...and I got WASTED. Now, I'm not a drinker...I have about a .01 tolerance for alcohol and I always get sick! That night I had 5 SHOTS OF PATRON and 2 cosmos...thanks to some random dudes in the bar who heard we all were graduating. Like I said, I was wasted...and my friend had to carry me to the car. Well we get back to campus (we all still stayed on campus) and before we walk in...I tell my friend to cover my head with a jacket so no one would see me in the ridiculous state that I was in. Her response was "Who in the hell do you think you are that you gotta be covered because you're drunk." I totally disregarded her, snatched the jacket and covered myself....walking blindly into the dorm! It wasn't until I took Brene's class in graduate school on Shame that I realized how crazy that incident was. What did I have to prove, who was I hiding from? My thought process that night was:
1. I am Miss CSU and I should not be representing myself this way
2. I am an RA and what would my residents think of me
3. I am the President of my Delta chapter- I have to set a standard
4. And DyMisha just does not do this kinda of mess....get sloppy drunk..NO that's not me.

That day in class, I had a revelation and I am so thankful for that. Today, I still try and present myself as this "perfect girl who has it all together" but I am doing a much better job than I was before of letting go of those expectations that I am completely putting on myself...because no one is saying "YOU HAVE TO BE THIS WAY."
My husband used to always say that I cared too much about what people thought...and I would argue him down that I didn't. But he was/is right.
As I am working on me...I am working to find that connection that Brene talks about in the article above. To be authentic and to be loved and accepted because of my flaws not despite them. I don't quite have the answer to why and how all of this came about...but it did....and it came full force. But i'm young and I have time to make that connection- If not for me, for my children. I want to be able to model that true authenticity for my children so that they can be wholeheartedly connected to those things that make us true authentic individuals.

I think I showed some true ordinary courage by putting myself out there like this. But I think it's all a part of the process.
still gracefully discovering......

The Real Housewives of Brazoria County

2009-01-05T13:41:00.002-06:00

I think I'm gonna start a new group for stay at home wives/moms...since I have decided after being off work for 2 weeks...that I enjoy doing absolutely NOTHING. As mentioned in a post a few months back- I probably wouldn't be a good stay at home wife/mom because I don't do a damn thing! I don't clean up, I don't cook for my hubby and have the food ready when he walks through the door! Instead, I sleep and lie in bed until about 12. Watch TV for a few more hours, then finally get dressed and by the time I get up and going...he's home!! It's wonderful! I mean, this is the life I think I was made for! Just chillen!!
This morning I had to get up and go back to work. I wasn't exactly happy about that! I have been sleeping in for the past couple of weeks and my body wasn't ready for the early morning rush. But I guess I have no choice.....we'll just have to readjust!
But if anyone is interested in starting this real housewives group...let me know...hey, we may even get a show!! Who knows.

it's all over

2008-12-30T16:14:00.003-06:00

My last post talked about how my parents were coming to spoil me and fatten me up! Well they came and are now gone. For the past 10 days, I had breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared for me. I even had breakfast and juice brought to my temporary room every morning!
So today, I get up and realize that I had to get up and go downstairs myself and FIND something to eat. There was nothing...I tried to make an omelet..and it didn't look good...so I threw it away...I then proceeded to make a baked potato...and only ate half of that...and then I made a bagel and ate half of that. I finally gave up after I realized that I didn't want any of that food. I am now going through withdrawal.....hopefully someone will read this and feel sorry for me..then call me and tell me that they have prepared a special hot meal for me! (hint....Candace, Nicole, Rita...somebody!) Since no one has yet to offer that meal deal...i'm chillen in TCBY- sipping on a smoothie and using the net!
Having family in town in always good and fun....but it sure feels good to have your house back to normal almost! I'm trying to think if I will trade in our quiet normal everyday life in our house...for 3 cooked meals a day. I think I just might!!
Anyway- I'll post my Christmas pics later on...after all I'm in TCBY using their free wi-fi.
Peace out people!!

about to be spoiled and fattened up!!

2008-12-19T12:02:00.002-06:00

My mommy got here last night and my in-laws are coming tomorrow! I am so excited. I know that the next 10 days are gonna be like heaven for me.
My mom is cooking all of my favorite meals...I have already given her my list!!
My father in-law already said that he was cooking me breakfast every morning...so i'm looking forward to grits, turkey bacon, toast and some eggs on a daily basis!
My mother in-law...she won't cook for me...but she will shower me with so many other things!
This is gonna be wonderful!!
I hope you all have as good of a holiday season as I do!
I'm getting ready to be spoiled triple time! My husband does a great job of spoiling me all by himself...so just imagine what it's about to be like!!
MMMMMM...oh and I did I mention that i'm also happy they are coming because I love them all sooooooooooooo much and enjoy spending quality time with my family! Yeah, that too...not only because they are going to spoil me...but that's a great benefit!

I secretly love the Keyshia Cole show!

2008-12-18T11:51:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure that I have RANTED AND RAVED about how much I DESPISE BET on this blog yet...but I do. Ever since the beginning days of College Hill where they portrayed black educated folks like idiots and hoodrats! I remember writing a letter to BET demanding that they cancel the show...of course they never did. I mean, when I was growing up...I watched A Different World..and just knew that I was going to HIllman! Our young kiddos arent looking at College Hill and thinking man...I want to go to Johnson C. Smith so that I can dance on top of the pool table! It just sends the wrong messages about HBCU's.

Anyway- I just really can't stand them...you would think that they would at least try and high light the good things that we do in the Black community...but no, they choose to air our dirty laundry...deep sigh!

But....but...but....there is ONE show that I secretly love on BET!

I have it set to my DVR to record every Tuesday night at 9pm. My husband can't stand it...but it is my guilty pleasure!

Frankie is my girl!! She is by far my favorite character on the show. In a very weird way- I think just her humor and some of the stuff she says...reminds me of my mama! Now don't get it twisted...my mom is not like Frankie....but some of the things that come out of her mouth- Deborah Doreen would probably say!

I like how Keyshia takes care of her family and is trying to show them a different lifestyle. They all are a ghetto mess...but I can see the transformation happening before my eyes!! Especially with Neffie!

My favorite quotes from the show:

Keyshia to her mama: "Dang, MA! Why you gotta be so ghetto!!"

Frankie: Absolutely

Frankie: MAN DOWN CODE 10

Frankie: Hoooooooooooollllllllaa!

But anyway- I felt like it was my responsibility to put it out there that I am a Keyshia Cole fan....and I even went to buy her CD today! And you know I don't buy real cd's!!

Wednesday surprise...SNOW IN HOUSTON!

2008-12-12T10:01:00.004-06:00

Now, I lived in Chicago for four years and was really used to it being cold 9 out of the 10 months that I was there a year. I even almost adjusted to "the hawk" by layering up my clothes...always wearing tights...keeping the heat in my dorm room on HELL.

But 3 years ago...I moved to Texas- where I expected it to always be nice..maybe not HOT all of the time..but nice.

Well Wednesday, I wake up and I'm freezing in my bed...so Nick gets up and turns the heat on so that I can even begin to think about getting up and getting dressed for work. He even warmed my car up before he left for work (this is something that I thought I only had to do in Chicago) so that I wouldn't freeze to death.

Anyway, I'm freezing in my office all day...and that is pretty normal because for some reason..my office just can't get warm even if they turn the heat on which is hardly ever...but this day- the freaking space heater that I had...WENT OUT! So I'm tripping all day.

But none of that compares to this.

Yep, IT SNOWED IN HOUSTON TEXAS ON DECEMBER 10, 2008. I would have never believed it..if I didn't see it myself. So, there it is...PROOF that the world must be coming to a complete end!

Our first Christmas tree!

2008-12-12T09:36:00.005-06:00

Sunday night, Nick, Ryan and myself put up our very first Christmas tree in our home! Our families are coming next week for the Holidays....so of course we had to have a tree. It was pretty fun. I didn't know that artificial trees cost so much money though...someone could have warned me! But it's all good. Here are some photos

Me putting ornaments on the tree....we even got purple ones...my favorite color!

Nick putting the top of the tree on...almost complete!

Ryan wanted to help too....but we had to spray the tree so he wouldn't tear it up!

Trying to make the tree look full...but you know im always ready for a photo-op!

Finished product! Well not really because we still need to get a topper...and some more cool ornaments! But for now- it's the finished product! YAY for our first tree!

World AIDS Day

2008-12-01T09:39:00.003-06:00

I'm not even gonna insult your intelligence and give you the same story that I always give when I go a few weeks without blogging (although I think this must be the longest lapse in time). I always say that I won't do it again..which is probably a lie....so I'm not even going there this time. But I will say that I haven't been blogging lately because I can't blog about what I want to blog about just yet...so I've just been writing in my own personal journal. BUT fret not- I'll put the business out there on the world wide web soon enough people!!

Today is World AIDS Day! What exactly does that mean lady??!!
Well according to the World AIDS Day campaign "The 1st of December, World AIDS Day, is the day when individuals and organizations from around the world come together to bring attention to the global AIDS epidemic. 2008 marks the 20th anniversary of World AIDS Day. Whilst we have come a long ways since 1988, there is still much more to be done."

Let's do our part in spreading information about the AIDS epidemic that is affecting so many people across the World- and especially here in America- where the people who are suffering the most look like me.

So in doing my part- I will continue to advocate for comprehensive sex education programs to students across Texas. We have to educate our children on the safety measures of intercourse. Of course, we don't want them engaging in these types of activities but if they are, we MUST do our part and educate them on how to protect themselves if they are going to do it. I am very excited that our next President is a man who believes in comprehensive sex-education and maybe....just maybe he can have some influence over some ridiculous States that still believe that telling kiddos TO NOT DO IT is enough. I had a student ask me (after I asked her if she were on on birth control) where do I get it from? Can I buy it at Walgreen's? Yes, I'm serious. Mind you, this young lady is 18 and about to graduate from high school and go off to college not knowing where to get birth control from. Her parents never talked to her about it- the school hadn't talked about it...so she doesn't know. By the way- she's pregnant. We have to do better.

Congratulations Mr. President

2008-11-05T12:15:00.002-06:00

The time has come....we finally have the FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT! I'm not quite able to process this completely....i'm still chillen in my bed (yes people I took the day off) basking in my happiness and joy about this great movement in our Country.

Maybe later, i'll be able to formulate complete thoughts about how I feel...but right now i'm still a bit speechless!

November 5th Etiquette!

2008-10-29T15:07:00.001-05:00

The following is an email I received for Nov. 5th etiquette following an Obama win:
1. No crying, hugging or shouting “Thank you Lord” - at least not in public
2 No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses
3 No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters
4 No calling in sick on November 5th. They’ll get nervous if too many of us don’t show up.
5 We’re allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.
6. No singing loudly, We’ve come this Far By Faith (it will beacceptable to hum softly)
7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunch room for at least a week (no chittlings at all) (thismay make us seem to ethnic)
8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this mightbe a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)
9. No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)
10. Please no Moving on Up music (we are going to try to remain humble)
11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you’re in your office with the door closed)
12. Please try not to yell—-BOOOO YAH!
13. Just in case you’re wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbagepatch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.

he finally did it!

2008-10-28T09:17:00.003-05:00

I wish I had a picture to show you... but by the time I went to go get my camera... he was finished.
Ryan (my puppy child) finally raised his leg up to pee like a big boy dog!! We have had him since June and he would always kinda lean forward to pee-pee without lifting up his leg. Nick thought that he would need to be around other dogs and see them lift their legs in order for him to do so...but it must be some inherent doggie thing that at some point in toddlerhood you learn how to lift your leg! I was on the phone with my mother-in-law and I started screaming...and she is like DyMisha, are you okay girl? I'm like "he did it...my baby finally did it!" She's like, did what? and I'm like "he lifted his leg and pee'd..it's like watching your baby take his first step". She laughed and said..okay, now its time for me to go!!

I was so happy to see this...my baby is becoming a man! Next time I will have my camera ready so the world can see my little boy raise his leg like a man!!

really???

2008-10-27T11:09:00.003-05:00

Say it ain't so! This young lady Ashley Todd said that a big 6 four 4 black man robbed her at the ATM machine in Pennsylvania, put a five inch knife to her neck, took her money , and when he saw a McCain Palin bumper sticker on her car; he carved a "B" on her cheeks...and said that "you will be an Obama supporter". Now when I first read this last week...I was like "OMG...I can't believe someone would do that to her...that is gonna make all Black Obama supporters look bad. " I actually empathized with her-I should have known better...but me being me...always trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

This girl was LYING! SHE MADE THE $*#^ UP!

How far will it go? Now what is really funny is that she worked for the College Republican National Committee and was her job was to recruit people (other college students) to become Republicans! Was this a part of her job....to recruit people by instilling fear of tall black men...and Obama supporters.

And the sad part about it is that the Obama family called her and apologized for what happened to her....so did the McCain folks. I wonder if McCain is going to apologize to Obama for this- like he INSISTED that Obama did for Congressman John Lewis' remarks about the hate rallies they have been having.

I mean seriously people....PLEASE GO AND VOTE! 8 more days until we witness history.

BARACK THE VOTE

I feel good

2008-10-23T09:55:00.003-05:00

My job can be extremely emotionally draining at times. All day, I sit and listen to my students problems..some they can change and some they cannot; some that are self-inflicting and some that are inflicted upon them. Often times, I want to cry with them, smack them, or take them home to my home so that they are safe...but all of those are unprofessional and I have to keep my cool and do my very best to help them cope with their current situation.

Many times, I feel like a failure..because I can't do much to change their situation...when I really want to...but I have come to grips with that...and my job isn't to change their situation (and sometimes I am able to do that) but more to help them get through whatever they are dealing with and still be able to be successful at school.

Well this is a day where I was able to truly help a student get out of a situation that she has been in for almost 2 years. I was able to empower her and her family to make the necessary steps for overcoming this hurdle. This morning she came to me very excited and liberated...and she said "Miss, thank you so much...my life is going to be so much better..I feel so much better- like a heavy load was taken off of me." She hugged me so long and tight...and we both cried. Unprofessional...so what! I am so happy for her and am proud to know such a strong courageous young woman. Today, I feel good and this one incident has made all the other failed attempts worth it.

This is why I love my job! Changing lives one child at a time.

Photo taken from http://www.brenebrown.com/

I VOTED!

2008-10-22T13:28:00.009-05:00

I meant to post this yesterday...but I was so ready to leave work and go vote..I left my computer at work!

Anyway- yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I casted my vote for the FIRST BLACK MAN TO EVER RUN ON A PRESIDENTIAL TICKET. As I drove down 518 in Pearland and saw HUMONGOUS McCain/Palin signs and all the other Republican candidates, I thought to myself...where are all of the Democratic signs?...I mean not even a Rick Noriega sign in sight. I am very aware that Texas is a very RED state...but I at least thought that I would see more signs...maybe it's because I live in Pearland. Nonetheless, as I drive up to the voting poll, a Republican candidate is there campaigning 100 feet from the door...and he hands me a flyer asking me for my vote. I'm thinking...wow this is pretty good that he is out here campaigning until the last second to get his votes...not that I was casting my vote for him..but I still thought it was kinda cool.

Anyway- I get in...no line...and I walk to the booth. Now my initial thought was I wonder if someone can take a picture of me voting ( I know..I'm always trying to take a picture) but then I thought that its probably against voting rules or something. I am so proud....the most proud of this Country that I have ever been...and I bet no one is going to come after me for saying it like they did Michelle Obama...BC little ol' doesn't have a husband running for President.

My friend Nicoley made a really good point about wanting to wait until 11/4 to vote so that she could be a part of such a historic day...and I feel her on that...but I'm more nervous that something shady is gonna go down that day...and all the polls in Brazoria county are going to mysteriously be broken or something. I don't know...call me crazy...or just call me Black in America! I am still very honored and proud to have voted yesterday and am anxiously awaiting 11/4. I really want to have a results watch party at my house....sounds like a good idea.

My friends (as John McCain says) it's time for me to go home! GO VOTE..EARLY!

Deadline for early voting in Texas is 10.31.08

a damn shame

2008-10-20T11:09:00.005-05:00

I rarely post the ignorant stuff that I read on other blog sites or even from the news websites (except for the racist FOX news..I don't give them the time of day)...but this is actually quite hilarious....I mean how blatant can you be?

This picture was taken from http://field-negro.blogspot.com/ ...a blog that I read on the regular...this guy is good!

This picture was printed and published in the latest newsletter by an Inland Republican women's group depicting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama surrounded by a watermelon, ribs and a bucket of fried chicken, prompting outrage in political circles.

Now this just really isn't good for the Republican party....while they are trying to get the Black vote. I mean seriously...CHICKEN, WATERMELON, RIBS & KOOL-AID ON A FOOD STAMP!

They claim that they were responding to one of Obama's comments during the primary season where he said that he wouldn't look like the other Presidents faces on the dollar bill.....so according to them- he wouldn't even be on the dollar...just on food stamps. Well dummy's nobody makes food stamp bills anymore...that went away with Clinton...they now have the EBT card!!

People are just really foolish and it makes me further know that we have not yet overcome...and we still have a ways to go...but progress is happening and I'm glad to be a part of it. There are so many people who do not carry the old Jim Crow South/America in their hearts...but the portion of folks that still do- make our Nation a terrible place of hate. I hope that my children will not have to endure this type of ridiculousness...but that might be hoping for too much.

We all need to pray!

the BS has already started

2008-10-20T10:06:00.003-05:00

So, I went to TRY and early vote today...because today is the first day of early voting in Texas. I was so excited because there is a polling location less than a mile from my job!
Anyway- I go inside...and there are only a few people in line...so i'm like great...I won't be here long and I can get back to work before my middle school lunch duty. However, I walk up to the front and a guy who is waiting to vote says...." the machines are down"....THE MACHINES ARE DOWN??!! What the hell....so immediately im thinking...is this a scam...are they serious?? are they trying to keep people from voting in this very historic election. The guy says...you can wait if you want to- they said it could be a while though. WAIT....hell naw I can't wait! I gotta go back to work...but I will be calling every hour on the hour to see if they got the "machines working".
I hope this is not the beginning of the next 14 days of sneaky tactics to keep people from voting.
I'll keep you posted. I hope I do get to vote today...if not, there is always tomorrow!

I'M A BIG KID NOW....in the pull-ups tune!

2008-10-09T12:34:00.002-05:00

I have definitely OVERCOME!
For the past 3.5 years that my husband and I have been living together..I have had this recurring dream..more like nightmare when he leaves and goes out of town or something. This dream only comes the first night that he leaves. Well he has been gone since Tuesday and guess what....NO DREAM!
You may be wondering...what dream DyMisha???? okay- I'll tell you.
For a few years now- I always dream (only on the 1st night) that someone is going to break in my house and rape me while my husband is gone. I know- freaky right??
Many of my friends have different theories as to why this dream/nightmare keeps coming to me...here are a few of their theories:

1. I don't feel the same protection/security while he is gone ( i believe so)
2. I feel powerless subconsciously (doubt it)
3. I am CRAZY (probably!!)
4. I've been raped or molested before and just can't remember it. (well I've never been raped or molested before...and if I were, I hope to GOD that I would be able to remember it)

I'm not really sure why I have these dreams...but the first makes the most sense to me. HOWEVER, IT is gone. No dream this week...and hopefully it will never come back again. I had two great restful nights of sleep and I am very proud of myself.

BYE BYE nightmares...I'm a big kid now!

Mushy Monday is back

2008-10-06T13:59:00.005-05:00

Today's mushy monday post goes to my nephew KayJay!

He said the sweetest thing to me today and I realized how much I missed him being here in Houston with us.

I called Nikki today just to talk...and they were on their way to Augusta to handle some business...and she put KayJay on the phone to talk to me. First thing he says is "is this Grandma Lena" now anyone who knows this child..knows that NOBODY comes before grandma Lena..not even his mama! anyway, I said nope...and he said "oh, hey Auntie Meme". I asked how his day was and what he was doing...and he said "I'm going to see my grandma Lena" and I said...you really love your grandma Lena don't you...and he said YYYYYYYEEEAAAHHH...and then I said well do you love me too...and he said YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH auntie meme! So I told him that he should tell me more often and he said...okay I love you too!!

LOL.

He is such a sweetheart and I miss him so much. I wish he were here...even though I call him my personal birth control!

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY

2008-10-06T13:51:00.004-05:00

Just a reminder for anyone who lives in Texas or knows someone who lives in Texas- that TODAY IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST DAY to register to VOTE for the November election. Please spread the word- you can not register online...but you can mail it in or hand deliver it to an office.. if you mail it- it just has to be postmarked by today. This is serious business people! We have to get our voices heard. Texas is a Republican state so the more people we can get to vote DEMOCRAT the better!

By the way- Early voting starts October 20, 2008. I will be going to VOTE early...because for some reason...I'm thinking we could have another rigged election like 2004...so I'm not waiting until the last minute! I suggest you all to do the same!
Peace and happy voting to all!

Barack Obama for President!!

and we're going.....

2008-10-01T13:16:00.003-05:00

when I said I would pay good money for UGA/LSU tickets..I wasn't playing!

I went into a bidding war on eBay a couple of different times and finally WON...yeah baby! 5 rows from the field...talk about good seats. ..I just don't know if our tickets are on the UGA side or not. I'm really hope they are...that would be awesome.

So, me and my hubby will be going to the showdown and witness a SEC battle! I'm so excited and can't wait until October 25th. This is going to be the game of the year- besides when we go to the National Championship.

LET'S GO DAWGS!

October 6, 2008 last day to register to vote in Texas

2008-09-28T21:00:00.002-05:00

Just a friendly reminder that if you have not registered to vote...you have 7 days to do so in order to have your voice heard on November 4, 2008. If you need some assistance, just let me know and I will gladly help you register. If you need a stamp...I will provide that for you as well!
Please remind all of your family and friends to go ahead and register to vote before it is too late for them to vote for their candidate. Now, if they are voting for McCain...don't remind them! Just kidding- we all need to vote, regardless of who your candidate is!
Hearing Uncle Aaron (billye's uncle) talk about still having his dad's poll tax...was so moving for me. There was a time when we couldn't vote and then there was a time where we had to pay to rock the vote! I'm glad change has come...and I'm looking forward to more change once Barack Obama becomes (my) THE President of the United States of this America!
I'm so excited...and so proud to be alive during this time. What a wonderful year!

comfort food....

2008-09-28T19:58:00.005-05:00

Tonight I made veggie lasagna....I figured we needed something to make us feel better after the devastating lost last night. It was pretty good....and I'm full....and I feel a bit better. It's amazing what good food can do for the body! Too bad we didn't have any dessert...so I had to settle for the Lorna Doone cookies we had in the pantry from Hurricane Ike.
I was a little nervous because we didn't have any eggs to put in the Ricotta cheese...and I was too lazy to go to the store and get some...so I just made it without it...and I couldn't even taste a difference....we sure know how to improvise around these parts!
I made a lot..so I'm gonna take some to work...Leigh Anne, you shouldn't have ever said you liked my lasagna....because you are getting a special package in the morning!
Anyway- I'm about to get ready for my Sunday dose of Army Wives....adios chicos!

Yes....we got molly wopped by Alabama

2008-09-28T17:56:00.005-05:00

Anyone who knows me...and knows me well...knows that my husband and I are DIE HARD UGA football fans. We watch every game...talk trash to anyone that wants to hear it...and will pay top dollars for tickets to the UGA/LSU game on 10.25 if anyone is selling them!
But last night was a HUGE disappointment for us....we never would have imagined that we would get killed by Alabama. Yes Alabama is ranked 8th, Yes they have a BEAST on their defensive line that we just couldn't stop....they call him Mt. Cody. Yes, they are good. I can't take that away from them...but come on'...we are talking about Georgia football here. We started off the season ranked #1....then moved to #3 only by winning every game and we have some great players that didn't even really get a chance to shine last night...bc we couldn't run the ball:
Knowshon Moreno who is being considered for the Heisman...a more than AWESOME running back, Matt Stafford our quarterback will probably be the #1 QB drafted in the NFL this year...if he decided to go, AJ Green, this freshman who is balling out of control...and that's just to name a few....but even they couldn't do much to help us win. In the first half we were losing 31-0. 31-0... and ended up losing 41-30.....UGA football?.....that just doesn't happen.
What in the hell happened to my team last night??? That was not UGA playing....they had to be imposters wearing the blackout jerseys...getting tore up by Alabama. We had so many penalties it was ridiculous...we beat ourselves up. We could have won that game...but we played terrible and they played one helluva football game.
My husband said that no team in the SEC will go undefeated this year. So we took our lost...took it early and I guess 11-1 ain't that bad. Last year we lost a couple games and still won the Sugar Bowl. This year we lost one..and hopefully it will be the last one...and we will win the BCS National Championship...yes I'm confident...and I dare you to say something about it!!!
This was a week of upsets...USC lost ( I was actually happy about that...which might have jinxed us a bit), Florida lost...and we lost. But the difference is that we lost to a Top 10 ranked team...and they lost to teams who weren't even ranked. So I'll take it..and I'll wear my UGA shirt and hat with pride....and take all trash talkers with a grain of salt.
GO DAWGS!

anyone else disappointed??

2008-09-26T07:59:00.002-05:00

Yesterday im posted up in front of my TV...ready for 2 hours...well 88 minutes of non-stop exciting, enticing, entertaining TV.....however, I didn't get that. I have been a Grey's Anatomy fan for the last 2 seasons ( I started watching during season 3..and of course I caught up on season 1 & 2 thanks to some good friends who had the DVD set...thanks Shr'i and LeighAnne) but last night made me a little mad.
I mean, who was this dude...that just magically appeared and started working in the hospital...and how in the hell did Christina magically slip and fall and get stabbed with a freaking icecyle...are the writer's still on strike??? Was I punked last night...and the real season premiere is coming on next week? And why in the hell are they skipping a week...and not showing a new episode for 2 weeks?
Maybe I got my hopes up too high....people have said to me before, don't expect to much and you'll be happy with what you get. But that's BS....I do expect a lot from Grey's Anatomy bc they have always given such great entertainment.
However, the night did end well when Oregon State (an unranked team who was 1-2) BEAT USC an overrated #1 team! My did end well indeed!
I guess I just have to get ready for the return of my other favorite TV show The Game which premieres October 3. I think they may be setting this show up for failure by moving it to Friday night. But thank goodness for DVR!

TONIGHT: the return of one of my favorite shows!

2008-09-25T08:02:00.005-05:00

I am so super excited that Grey's Anatomy is returning tonight for 2 hours! I have been long awaiting this day and will ignore every phone call, email, etc for the entire two hours. So if you are trying to contact me- please do it before 8 or after 10!
I saw a preview the other day- and it looks like Mr. McDreamy may have a baby's mama...and it ain't Meredith! I wonder how this is going to affect their relationship. I was really excited at the end of last season when she finally realized what she needed to overcome in order to be in a healthy relationship...bc that thing was far from healthy! I was rooting for her to keep her man! But what will this do to them...I guess I will know sooner or later.

I really want Miranda to get her marriage back in order. She has let her career ruin her home life...and that is never good! Scooter (lol...I just can't seem to detach him from that character...even on Prison Break!) seems like a good guy....and she messed it up. I could tell that she really didn't intend to do it- but she took him for granted...thinking he wouldn't leave....even when the fool sent George in there to tell her that he wanted a divorce if she didn't come! Yes, that is a reality for women/men who focus so much on their careers...but let's see some positive come from this. Send the message that you can still be a successful career person and have a good family/home life. None of them really do...and it sucks! But i'm pulling for good healthy relationships in Season 5.
Let's do it gang!
Can't wait until 8pm.

undocumented families need help too

2008-09-24T15:50:00.002-05:00

Hurricane Ike destroyed the property of many folks in The Houston/Galveston area. About 1/3 of the city STILL does not have power 12 days after the storm...and some people do not have running water. Many of the POD locations have closed and FEMA is not as helpful as some would imagined they would be...even after having 3 years to get it together from Hurricane Katrina.

But my issue today is that there isn't any agency (to my knowledge) that is offering assistance to undocumented families. Now i'm not talking about a bag of ice and water....but more pressing things like financial assistance for their lost or damaged property or shelter/hotel vouchers, etc. I work at a school that has a Hispanic population of about 98%...and we have a few families that are undocumented. I have been wrecking my brain and using my very best social work skills to search high and low for some assistance for our kiddos....and it's not the kids that are undocumented...it's their parents. My heart really goes out to these families who cannot apply for FEMA and get the resources that they are offering. Many people have their own opinions about what should and shouldn't be allowed or "given" to undocumented people. But in a time of crisis...when people are in need and their children are going without, that really shouldn't matter.

I hope that by the end of the week, my hope is restored and I will find an agency that will supply financial assistance to these families who have lost so much due to this natural disaster. Many of them are hourly workers, and if places have been closed for 12 days because of no electricity or due to damage...then they haven't been able to work. And unless they are balling or are great savers....then that missed worked time is going to hurt them...Hell, it would hurt me if I were an hourly worker!

I'm kinda frustrated today because we have several families that need help...and it's kinda my job to help them get those resources...and i'm not having a whole lot of luck.

But my School Director GET'S IT! Tomorrow, I am going to Sam's club to buy food for our families that are running low and hopefully add a smidget of joy to their lives.

I am really happy that we didn't have as many kiddos affected my this storm as I had imagined. Monday night I could hardly sleep thinking about the issues that I would face when the kids came back Tuesday. But God is good, as I always say! Our students are back at school and ready to learn IN SPITE OF!

I really do love my job...even when the job feels impossible! Just gotta keep on keeping on..like my grandma Mrs. Minnie (rest her soul) used to say!

I was cool with Ike until now.....

2008-09-18T18:00:00.002-05:00

So you know, I wasn't all that mad at Ike because he didn't tear my house up and having the power off wasn't all that bad for me....but Ike has gone too damn far.

Because of him.....I can't go see The Color Purple tomorrow...that I had been waiting on for months. We purchased very good seats and I already had my outfit planned out and I got my hair done today. But because of Ike....who caused power to go out all over the city...and many people and places still do not have power...and because of it- we have a curfew in Houston...and because of the CURFEW we can't see the show because it would let us out too late....and NO THEY ARE NOT ADDING MORE SHOWS....AND YES ALL OF THE TICKETS TO THE OTHER SHOWS ARE SOLD OUT.

My feelings are hurt and I'm pissed off at Ike.

how cute is this....

2008-09-17T00:55:00.004-05:00

This is by far the cutest picture that I have ever taken. I am in love....
so I tried to get one as cute as theirs..but it didn't quite work out for me..so sad..maybe one day!

I just think this picture is cute...so what if you don't!

and for some reason I couldn't rotate these...so cock your head to the side...so you can get a good look!

there are good people in the world

2008-09-17T00:28:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to share a blessing with you all that was given to me and my boo tonight. We went to Fridays for dinner which is about the only food place opened over here....since we only had snacks and can goods to eat. Anyway we sit down and across from us is this lady and her two kids...and the kids seemed to be having fun with their mom..which was kinda weird because the girl was a teenager!!
Anyway- we order our food and it comes out looking and smelling burnt...so we send it back and it comes back the same exact way. You know how you fry chicken in dirty grease...and it gets too dark and doesn't look good....yeah so that's how my fried shrimp and his chicken strips came out. But the manager told us that's how they are supposed to look...well you could have fooled me because this picture that made me want these fattening fried shrimp were golden brown not doo doo brown.
Anyway- I order something else...something more healthy....grilled salmon, broccoli and rice. So back to the lady...she gets up after they finished their food and did a few old school dance moves at the table...she tells us that she is taking care of our bill because she noticed that we were having such a hard time..and wanted to make that part easy for us. After we told her several times, that she really didn't have to do that...she said "That's what we do...when we belong to the King" Nick made a good point...that she taught her kids a life lesson in that moment. God is good as I say all of the time and He truly shines through others. We didn't know this lady from Adam and we probably won't see her again...but she really was a blessing to us tonight. She made me want to be a better person and do things for people more often. Which makes me think about a kind act my hubby did the other day. When we were driving to our house for the first time after the storm to see what damages were done..there was this homeless guy standing at the light asking for money. We didn't have cash and Nick always wants to give $- but not me bc I have been played a few times..but I will give food. Anyway- it's raining hard...and he gives the guy the umbrella so he won't get wet outside in the rain...he then looks at me and says..we'll get you another one. I guess he read my mind...like "ummmm it's raining and my hair is gonna get wet!!!"
Anyway- let's all do something nice and unexpected for someone this week. It really makes people feel good when we do selfless things and not look for anything in return!

an eventful few weeks

2008-09-16T21:35:00.011-05:00

Boy have I had an eventful past couple of weeks...thus the reasoning for my absence here in the blogosphere! My apologies to the folks who stop by for regular updates...I will definitely try not to EVER go this long again without at least saying "hey guys, I'm alive."

Anyway, where do I begin...I guess I will start with the most recent string of events.

HURRICANE IKE: I'm sure many of you have been watching nonstop coverage on our boy "Ol Ike"...and I'm sure many of you know how messed up he left so many people in Houston, Galveston and cities in between.

Well here is my personal story with Ol Ike. Before Thursday (9/11) I really didn't think that much about Ike. I heard he was coming...my father in-law told me that we needed to buy tickets and come home to avoid the raft of Ike, people kept asking me if we were going to evacuate...but still there wasn't any sense of urgency for me or my husband. But I get to work Thursday (my first day back after the accident...which I'll get to later) and I'm excited to be back...even though I'm still hurting a bit...and we have this all school morning meeting...which rarely happens...and our school Director says that we are having a half day and leaving at 1:30 so that our students and staff can properly prepare for Hurricane Ike. So now I'm thinking, damn this must be serious...bc we don't really do the whole get of school for nothing thing. So anyway, I go back to my office- see a few kids that had been looking for me all week and then I get a text from my husband asking me to get needed supplies for the storm. Now anyone who knows my husband knows that he doesn't make a big deal out of anything...and he had already said that we weren't leaving bc this wasn't really gonna be anything just like the last one. (we had decided we weren't ever leaving again..especially by car...because the last time we evacuated for Hurricane Rita..it took us about 30 hours to get to Ft. Worth which is about a 3 hour ride..and nothing happened to the city..but heavy rain fall.) Anyway- so I go to the HEB grocery store and get some food, flashlights, water, etc...but they were out of ice and bread. So i go to about 3 more stores and they too were out of bread and ice...and here is when I knew I should be worrying...I pull up to the Wal-mart about 3:30pm and THEY WERE BOARDED UP AND THE WORKER TOLD ME THEY WERE CLOSED. Now in all of my life...I have never seen a closed Wal-mart! So I called my husband and said...are you sure we shouldn't leave...I mean, even the Wal-mart is boarded up. By this time they had already announced a mandatory evacuation for Pearland.

So we decided that we weren't gonna leave the city- but we would go to a friends house that was more inland and more north than where we lived. But we had to find a friend that wouldn't mind us bringing our baby Ryan. So we went to JB's and crashed there for a few days.

So Ike comes in the middle of the night Friday and it was like nothing I had ever experienced before in my life. Talk about being scared. The wind was blowing harder than I ever could have imagined...and for a very long time. I thought it wouldn't stop...I went to sleep and woke up hours later and HE was still at it.

But let me tell you how I beat the hell out of myself. So in the midst of Ike, I'm trying to stay awake...but I end up nodding off at some point. As I'm "resting my eyes"(like my grandaddy used to say) I hear a loud boom...and I jump up and scratch the crap out of the right side of my face. I normally sleep with my head on my arm or hand..and I guess i jumped up too quickly and my nail caught my face. Well the power was out so I couldn't really see...and Nick and JB were taping down a window that Ike had blown through...

so I make my way to the bathroom to wet a napkin to put on my face bc at this point it's burning...and I feel the blood! I then go to where they are and Nick said..what happened to your face..did Ryan scratch you? (BTW- Ryan cried through the whole storm...I should slap Ike for making my baby that scared). Yes, that's how bad it was. And of course my husband being Mr. funnyman himself.. says " Babe, you the only woman I know who can whip her own ass!"

So the damage that Ike did to our city was...well minimal compared to our friends in Galveston. We had a lot of trees down, messed up roofs, tons of power lines down and millions without power. But God is really good and we only suffered damage to our fence and went without power for about 4 days. (which is why i'm just now writing this). So we are definitely blessed beyond measure. But look at some of the damage in our neighborhood

While were out of power mi esposa and I had some really great times. We made the best of the situation....and truly enjoyed each others company!

We played lots of games of Uno and created several other games to keep each other entertained...like "name that dvd" or "guess the Spanish word" or 20 questions, etc. Well you get the point. Times like this will really really let you know how much you like a person. Some people would go crazy if they had nothing to do but talk and play games with their spouse for 4 days...but WE LOVED IT! No TV, internet, phone or work to disturb us. I really do love my husband..he is my best friend and I had so much fun with him during the storm!

Moving on to the next little crazy event in my life....Saturday 9/6 we were driving to a basketball tournament that Nick was gonna play in with our church and bammmm...these 3 guys in a STOLEN Expedition hit us on the rear left side, spun us around...hit us again and then we hit a pole! Yep, you read it right...we got hit twice and then hit a pole. AND ONCE AGAIN I TELL YOU THAT GOD IS SOOOOOO GOOD! We walked out of the car with no broken bones, fractures or cuts. Just some neck and back pain. Well get this....the guys that hit us...jumped out of the SUV and ran on foot. mmmhmmm they sure did. We didn't actually see them...but this lady came up to the car asking if we were okay...so Nick asked her if she was okay thinking she was the one that hit us...and she said "Oh I wasn't in the accident, the guys just ran off". So at this point I am freaking out...my whole body goes numb and tingly and im hyperventilating (for the 1st time in my life actually). So I hear like 4 -5 different voices...but if you paid me $1million to tell you what they looked like..I couldn't. Not once, did I look up...my head was buried into Nicks chest crying my heart out...until the ambulance came and taped me down to the gurney and took me to the hospital. I was so scared...but the EMT told me that because I was hyperventilating I was causing my body to be numb and tingly...and I wasn't in fact paralyzed (even though I was standing when I thought I could be lol). I'm telling you...this whole scene was something out of a movie..people from the community coming out to witness to the police, some older black lady telling me to just hold on to my faith in God, and some man from the neighborhood who chased down the guys who hit us...but didn't catch them.

Anyway- Nick rides with me in the ambulance bc he lied and said he wasn't feeling any pain..so that he could be with me...bc I was clearly freaking out! Turns out..he did have some pain..and his neck is still hurting. Anyway, the Dr. took some X-rays and I was fine...he just gave some drugs and told me rest and go back to work in a few days. Here are some photos from the hospital..we had to do something while we waited hours for them to come back and see me.

So I promise that these pictures were taken several hours after the accident...after I calmed down and the numb and tingly feelings went away. Sarita took a picture when I was still in shock and crying mode...and she hasn't emailed it to me yet...and she probably won't because she doesn't have a good track record of handing over the goods...pictures I mean. We had to make the best of the situation. I do have good friends. Thanks Rita for being there with us..and taking us home....and missing your hubby play in the tournament! I love ya girl.

almost did my Top 10 list....

2008-08-25T15:56:00.004-05:00

So at the beginning of my summer break, I came up with this list of things that I wanted to get done before the summer was over and I am proud to say that I accomplished most of them.

1. Potty train Ryan ( our new dog!) DONE

2. Finish 3 scrapbooks NOPE NOT YET..but I finished 1 and 2 photo albums

3. Read at least 4 books for pleasure HA- WELL I FINISHED 3!

4. See my nephew Deylon and my niece Alyssa : UNFORTUNATELY I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THEM AT ALL..AND I'M SAD ABOUT IT

5. Lose 10 pounds: LOST 7

6. Get my kitchen faucet replaced: DONE...hubby got it replaced!

7. Get my car windows tinted: DONE...my husband surprised me...got them done while I was in France and picked me up in my car...with the freshly tinted windows!

8. Get my hair dyed: DONE

9. Learn to make good lasagna: DONE

10. RELAX: DONE

Why Lawd Why is my Electric Bill so High??!!

2008-08-22T09:25:00.002-05:00

I don't get it! Why is our electric bill almost $300 bucks and we aren't even home that much. Both of us get home around 6pm...while we are gone- LIGHTS ARE OFF AND SO IS THE AIR! When we are at home, we don't leave lights on in rooms that we are not in, and the air is at a reasonable temperature...we even set the timer to the TV so that it's not on all through the night!
Now that sounds like some pretty conservative electric handlers to me! I think it's a conspiracy. There is no way that we could have possibly run up a bill that high. Maybe the rates have been jacked up since gas prices are rising or because the economy is bad. But I never got a letter in the mail telling me that our rates were changing.
I think I'm gonna have to start using candles like my good friend Sarita suggested! I mean, it's a shame...I don't even want to pay it. Not because we cant afford it- but the freaking idea of dropping $300 on any bill that's not mortgage, car note or credit card just annoys me. But I guess I really don't have a choice do I?? We can't be in the darkness and we fo sho can't be without air...because we do live in Texas!
I guess I'll just call the electric company and complain...and threaten to leave for another company that has lower rates...and see how they can compensate me! Works every time!
Peace

Successful 30 day VEGETARIAN!

2008-08-20T12:57:00.002-05:00

Today marks 30 days that my husband and I have been on a no meat/fat snacks at all diet! At first, I thought I wouldn't be able to make it without some soda, candy occasionally, ground turkey, fish, shrimp or sumn...see I've already told y'all that I could do without chicken for the rest of my life.
But anyway- I doubted myself (internally)...but today I am proud to say that WE MADE IT! I never had any doubt in him, because he is good with stuff like that...giving stuff up and not cheating or backing out of the plan...but not me! Most of the things that we say we're gonna give up (sodas, fried foods, bread, etc) I always seem to not make it to the finish line..BUT THIS TIME I DID! And I'm actually really excited that I stuck with it. Not one time during the past 30 days did I feign for meat. Well I lied..this one time I wanted some fish tacos bad...but I held out! But for the most part I was good. I actually liked being a vegetarian. My body feels better because we didn't eat the fat snacks, fries, sodas, etc. I even lost some weight. 7 pounds to be exact!
I think I'm gonna continue with this lifestyle. I will add seafood back into my diet...but I think I'm gonna lay off of the other stuff. I feel a lot better- and I want to keep it that way. Am I saying that I will NEVER eat a fat snack, or drink a soda, or have a turkey burger and fries...NOPE! But I am saying that I want to live a healthy life...and that includes eating well.
One day we would like to have a baby...and I want my body to be a nice healthy place for our child to live for 9 months!
So I'm working on getting healthy...for me and for them! Eating well, exercising, limiting stress in my life, lots of laughter and happiness and just total peace.
So here's to 30 days as a vegetarian...and many more days as a pescatarian! (thats a vegetarian who eats seafood..it think...I didn't make that word up!)

el cepillado en mi español = brushing up on my spanish

2008-08-19T08:36:00.005-05:00

You know the phrase "If you don't use it, you'll lose it"....well that is exactly what happened to me. I took Spanish for 4 years in High School and 2 years in College...and I was actually pretty good in high school...but somewhere between 2001 and now..my understanding and ability to speak the Spanish language has dwindled.
Unfortunately for me, I live in Texas and work at a school with approx a 98% Hispanic population...I NEED TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK SPANISH!
Last year, I would have parent meetings and some of our parents are spanish speaking only, so I would need a translator. But in my profession- most things are confidential...so I would have to break that students confidentiality with the translator because I couldn't communicate with his/her parents. I was also a little frustrated because the parents and translator would talk for several minutes and then the translator would tell me in a few words what they talked about. Now I know the English language and the Spanish language are different and sometimes things are very wordy in Spanish...but I know it didn't take all of that time to say what I said!
Also, many conversations with parents are very uncomfortable and hard things to talk about...what if the translator isn't saying what im saying with the same level of compassion and sensitivity as I would. I wouldn't really know....so that is why I need to get it together and learn to speak Spanish again so that I can communicate with my parents without using a translator. I'm not saying that our translators are horrible...I just want to be able to do the job myself...so that I know everything that is being said and I can communicate it to them in my own tone!
Two of my favorite people at work- our wonderful Janitorial staff...who have dubbed themselves mi tia's here at YES have offered to help me with my Spanish. We will only speak in Spanish...no English. I think I may also take Rosetta Stone or see if there is a conversational Spanish classes at one of the local colleges around here. I can understand some things...but a lot of times I'm at a lost of words when I try to express myself.
So, if you know Spanish- no hábleme en inglés más, esta bien?
Hopefully, by next year this time...i'll be bilingual again!
Adios chicos!

mushy monday postponed...its mad as hell Monday today!

2008-08-18T09:29:00.004-05:00

My ship and one of my most favorite prohpytes just reminded me that it was Mushy Monday. But i'm really not in any mood to write about anything great and happy and mushy after watching that video (please check out link in the post below).
So today is Mad as Hell Monday...because it's very very very frustrating to watch this. But Kristal made a very good point..that this is exactly why we do the work that we do. We do it so that we can press through this madness and teach our kids a better way of life, a better way to behave, but most importantly a better way to love themselves, respect their bodies, mind and spirit.
This is giving me a new vision...
So to hell with Mushy Monday today and hello to Mad as Hell about what our babies are learning and becoming.
Y'all pray for me!

My heart is hurting....and I want to cry

2008-08-18T08:48:00.005-05:00

Okay, so this post is about to be a huge rant because I am completely disturbed. My good friend Shr'i sent me this forward...and I normally don't even pay attention to forwards...but for some reason I opened this video this morning.

http://www.blackbottom.com/watch.php?v=igXB8UyBnF9

I tried to post the video...but for some reason I couldn't save it to my computer. This is a must see....please go look at this and write a comment about what you think.
These kids can't be more than 7 years old and they look like they just stepped out of the Nelly Tip Drill video. I have never seen anything like this in my life.
I mean, we used to have dance competitions at birthday parties...but we NEVER had sex with our clothes on. THESE ARE BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My question is....where are their parents...and who in the hell was video taping them. It had to be an adult...and instead of stopping them from grinding each other up...they decided to tape. NO ONE stopped them...well for at least a minute and a half.
I really don't even know what to say...except. BLACK FOLKS. WE GOTTA DO BETTER! This is partly why we have so much teenage pregnancy...because some parents aren't teaching their little girls to be ladies. Instead they are teaching them how to dance like strippers...because baby girl saw this somewhere...maybe mommy, maybe videos...I don't know...but she LEARNED this from someone. I can't even do the stuff she was doing!
I am so furious right now.....no I'm really sad right now. My heart is hurting and the happiness that I had for the first day of school is gone. I have so many mixed emotions right now: sadness, anger, disgust, frustration, anxiety, and pain. I truly believe that is the partly the reason why our teenage pregancy rate is so high...because at 7 they are dancing and grinding and basically "doin it" with their clothes on ....and at 12- they are really doing it and getting pregnant. We have got to teach our girls how to be ladies...and our boys how to be gentlemen. I could go on and on and on...but........
I need to do some work..I mean it is the first day of school. But I had to post this because I am just speechless.......damn!

got a good word yesterday!

2008-08-11T13:49:00.003-05:00

So for the past 6 months, my husband and I have been battling with leaving our church home. We have been members of New Life for a little over 3 years now and we have grown very close to our church family. However, we have moved out of the city and into the burbs...placing us about 45 minutes from our church. Initially, we were like "yep we're leaving" because it's really ridiculous to have to drive that far when gas is $4.00 a gallon almost. But it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to go ahead and switcharoo!
Anyway- we have been skipping a few Sundays at New Life to visit some churches REALLY close to our home....like so close we could walk if it weren't 145 degrees outside! So yesterday we went to Crossroads Community Church (which is right across the street..thank you Jesus). We have visited this church a few times...and we like it...but we never really got to hear the Pastor speak..the first time we went it was Youth sunday, then we went back..but were late..and came in on the middle of a chump off sermon..then he got into a really bad motorcycle accident, so that the last two times we have gone- have been Associate Pastors preaching. Well both of the Associate Pastors sermons..I LOVED!
So back to the point of the story- my good word yesterday!
The Minister- who normally leads praise and worship was preaching for the day! This lady ushered the Spirit of God in and right on inside of me. She preached on "A Higher Calling" about how God is waiting on us to answer him YES to do His will...and how we have to keep pressing though when life comes at us. I think this really hit home for me because I have been dealing with myself- because I KNOW that I am not fulfilling my duties that he has for me. There is so much more than I need to do for the Lord..but I don't. I am praying for God to help me surrender to him and allow me to do what he wants me to do.
So y'all pray for me!
This sermon was so awesome...that I bought the CD. I NEVER EVER buy Cd's....but I had to have this message on hand when I need a pick me up...and a little motivation. I listened to it in the car this morning...and while sitting at my desk doing some work to prepare for the year! I have passed it along to one of my spiritual sisters/coworker so she could get a blessing as well.
I was truly blessed yesterday and am very thanksful for the message that was brought to me from my Father through Minister Lenora Jones.

Mushy Mondays

2008-08-11T12:10:00.003-05:00

Last summer my friend LaSonya was here doing an internship because she is in Pharmacy school- and she got me hooked on the Lifetime TV show Army Wives. This show has become one of my favorites...right up there with The Game!

Last night as I was watching Army Wives and running on the treadmill trying to burn off the two cupcakes that I had for dessert- I had a revelation!

These women go through so much and I rarely hear people giving them props for being the devoted, strong women that they are. I mean, we always hear people praising troops (which I do think they should be praised)...but what about the wives and husbands who hold their families down while their spouse is gone for months at a time? I can imagine how lonely they must feel... hell, I get lonley and miss my husband if he leaves for a week.

My aunt has been an army wife for almost 30 years and her daughter- my cousin who was a Mushy Monday recipient a few weeks back is about to marry a man in the Army as well. Last night I was just thinking about what issues they have/will go through and how I don't think I could ever be in their positions.

I send a special prayer of patience, devotion, dedication, strength, favor, reduced stress, and an extra helping of love to sustain all of these women.....but especially my cousin who is about to embark on this long journey of army wifedom!

So, todays Mushy Monday post goes to all of the army wives and husbands across the Nation! Thank you for all that you do!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME AND MY BOO!

2008-08-05T10:07:00.005-05:00

Today marks 2 years since we vowed to love each other forever and ever and ever and ever! And I must say that it has been a wonderful two years for us. I couldn't think of anyone more perfectly compatible than us two together. We were truly designed by God himself to be husband and wife forever and ever and ever!

I figured i'd list the top 10 things that I love about my husband and our marriage- since today is our anniversary!

1. I love love love how we treat one another: with love and compassion, respect and admiration, honesty and trust, communication and good listening skills, etc.

2. I love how we can have fun with each other and do absolutely NOTHING!

3. I love how we share responsibilities

4. I love how even though my husband is the head of our household, he values and cherishes my thoughts and opinions and we make decisions together.

5. I love how thoughtful he is. The little things always count...and the big ones do too..but little ones have a lot of meaning

6. I love love love how he is so appreciative and says THANK YOU for EVERYTHING! And you know, that's not to be taken for granted, bc I know many of wives/girlfriends who always gripe about their men not saying thank you or appreciating things that they do. My husband is very good in that department- he says thank you for ev-e-ry thing that I do...and I really appreciate it because it makes me want to do things for him even more!

7. I love how he is so giving...the man can give some good gifts! I mean, its been 6 years and he has never seemed to dissapoint me! I can always count on him to do me right!! And he puts a lot of thought into the gifts and surprises..no last minute pick me ups! And not only to me is he giving...but he has a good heart and is always willing to help someone out.

8. I love how we give each other space to do our own personal stuff...some men/women trip about their spouses hanging out with their girlfriends/homeboys or just doing stuff without them. But we don't! We encourage each other to hang out with friends..and have personal me time! Its very healthy!!

9. I love how we are so in love with each other...and we are growing more in love everyday!

10. And I love how great...no awesome...no magnificent....no mind blowing...well... that ain't none of y'alls bidness!!

I know y'all may not be concerned with my joy and happiness that I get from being married to the World's Greatest Husband...but I just needed to blog about it for me!

Oh and...I got my new wedding band for our anniversary....and I must say...IM SHINING ON 'EM!

Mushy Monday

2008-07-28T19:53:00.004-05:00

It's almost 8pm and I forgot about mushy monday...good thing I remembered before it was too late!

This weeks mushy monday post goes to.........................my baby Ryan. I know he has been terrible in the past weeks chewing up my walls and stuff...but today when I came home he had thrown up in the crate. We noticed that he had some worms in his poop last week and I went to the vet and got the pill to kill it....but i'm not so sure it worked...because they were there again today....which might be the cause of the vomit

Anyway- when I walked in the house, he started crying to get out. I let him out, cleaned the crate...and just felt really bad for him.

I felt kinda helpless because I don't know what is causing him to be so sickly....he's had something or another since we've gotten him. I feel like it's partly our fault because we should make sure that he is protected from these sorts of things.

Anyway, when he came back in from using it- I just let him lay in my lap for about an hour...like a mommy would do her sick child :)-

My baby is sick and there is not much I can do about it. I am tired of giving the Vet our money...so we are gonna wait this one out and see if he gets better!

So my mushy monday goes to my sickly child....whom I love so much!

P.S I went to Hobby Lobby today and got some doggie scrapbook materials! I'm excited to document this time in our lives...with our new addition to the family!

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-07-24T11:37:00.006-05:00

So today I turned the big 25! As my dear friend Sarita says " I'm finally legitimate"

It's really rainy here today- due to Hurricane Dolly...so i'm not really feeling the bright sunshiney mood that I should have on such a special day as such!

I've received countless facebook birthday messages, text messages and phone calls from people all over the Country that love me! (or maybe just like me...or maybe just saw that it was my bday on facebook and thought it'd be nice to tell me to have a happy one!) But nonetheless, I am feeling the love on this very rainy dreary day!

So, i've told you all before how I have the best husband in the world right? Right- so my husband...who is the best husband in the world, got me this James Avery charm bracelet that I have been wanting for a while. He says that this bracelet will help tell the story of our lives because he will get a charm for every significant time in my life. So my bracelet now has a #25 charm, because he got it for my 25th bday, a heart that says " you will always be in my heart" because he says that he always carries me in his heart everywhere he goes; and a dog bone...for our first child Ryan! I am so excited about this gift because it is so sentimental. My best friend Mesita told me that I have a really good man..and he is so romantic...and I told her that I already knew that!!! :)-

I look forward to seeing what other charms he gets me...and I wonder how long its gonna take for it to get full. I was getting may hair done last night (picture of that..scroll down) and the girl that does my hair..said that on her wedding day her husband gave her a James Avery charm bracelet and has given her a charm every year on their anniversary! It's been 9 years and her bracelet still isn't full! But I think its so beautiful....anyway- here is a picture of my bracelet...and once its full...not sure how many years from now that will be...but i'll post another picture for all to see! As mentioned earlier I went to get my hair done last night! Went in for a color and trim...came out with a color and a cut! Got my hair cut in a very cute bob (bc she says that my ends were split bad...and they were...but probably not as bad as she made it seem). I love my hair cut though...even though the hubby wants me to let it grow out! I told him that it won't grow out if its not healthy! I was worried that he wouldn't like it...BUT HE DID! So that made me feel better about loving it so much!
This picture was taken this morning at work...yeah I know..you all are probably wondering why i'm at work having a photo shoot....but hey! A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right?

This picture really doesn't do my cut justice...but it was the best i could do by myself. Felt kinda weird asking someone to come and take a picture of me! Hopefully, i'll get a better one soon!

Mushy Monday

2008-07-21T09:27:00.005-05:00

Today's mushy Monday post goes to my cousin Ti Parker. She is my big cousin (just a few years older than I) but when we were little..I used to always run behind her and get on her nerves...following her everywhere she went! She even got in trouble one time for leaving me because I told my auntie that she was being mean and left me for her cousin on her dads side!

Anyway- over the years we have gotten really close. We went through a rough patch a few years back...but I am so happy to say that things are back to normal now. I don't think she realizes how much I love her and value our relationship. We were ALWAYS each others sisters that we never had. I am so blessed to have her in my life.

She's getting married in a few months and I am soooooooooooo happy for her! I cannot wait to witness the day that she walks down the aisle- just as beautiful as ever and become one with her long time partner! Her fiance' is in the army and they are being reassigned soon. I have this hopeful theory that they will be stationed in Houston...or somewhere in Texas so we can be closer and I can watch their son (my godson) grow up. I have never had the privilege of being around him for more than a few days at a time...and I would love to have that opportunity!

I just want my cousin to know how much I love her....how proud I am of her for being a GREAT mommy, a hardworking employee and (i hope) a nice, sweet loving, caring, mushy fiance! (inside inside joke..she will understand).

Oh and I have asked the Lord to forgive her and Geno for lying about the Scene It game...even though they are trying to live their lives right...some old habits just don't die! WE (the Richardsons) won that game...not y'all! So please get over it! Rematch when y'all get settled in your new home in Houston! (hey a girl can have faith!)

remembering the days of welfare!

2008-07-21T08:44:00.003-05:00

Yesterday at Sunday dinner we were reminiscing on the days of food stamps (before there was the EBT card...and you had a book of stamps..that looked like fake money!), welfare checks, section-8 housing, government cheese, powdered milk, butter and eggs! Many of us at the table had grown up in families where welfare was the only way we survived...without it, I know for sure my family would not have eaten, paid rent or paid the bills.

After my parents separated in 1990....our house burned down and we moved to Mechanicsville, an inner city project of Atlanta. That is where I experienced my first run at shame for being poor. Even though EVERYONE over there was poor and on welfare...it was just something about going to the corner store and buying stuff with food stamps. I used to BEG my mama not to send me to the store with food stamps. This is how bad it was- if I knew someone in the store, I would walk around until they were gone before I went to the counter with our groceries...even though I just saw them buy their stuff with food stamps!

This was such an embarrassing time for me- I'm not even really sure why. But being on public assistance just had a bad stigma to it!
My brother really didn't have a problem with it- I don't think...bc I never heard him complaining. But I had countless days of begging to the point of tears for my mom to go to the store her damn self to get the overpriced bread, milk, cheese, meat, or whatever else we were buying with a book of stamps!

Now that I look back- it wasn't all that bad! I mean we never were hungry and we always had a roof over our heads! I actually am thankful for the assistance that we received.
But I do believe that some people get too comfortable with public assistance that it hinders them from wanting to better themselves. I mean, if you can eat, sleep, pay your bills, buy your kids clothes...FOR FREE...then why would you want to go and get a job (that probably won't pay you as much). I haven't looked at the recent welfare reform requirements. I'm pretty sure that in order to receive assistance, one has to have or job or be looking for a job. But let me double check that I'll update ya later.

Some people really need assistance to feed, clothe, and house their children. But some people really are abusing the system and need to get it together- so that we can break the generational cycle of poverty! Let's teach our kids to be self sufficient, independent, hard-working and diligent so that when they are older, they will not need public assistance. None of my mothers children have relied on public assistance since we have been grown and that is a blessing. But it surely helped us out while we were children!

the proof is in the pudding

2008-07-19T10:03:00.006-05:00

My wall...that he chewed through..........

a closer look....all the way to the metal...this had to hurt his teeth!

so...hubby was in the living room...just chillen...and realized that not only did he chew the wall...but at some point...he chewed through our NEW chair..."the pop chair" as my mother in-law calls it!yep....he sure did!
this is his "room".....but no more roaming around....he has to go to jail now!

i'm locked up....they won't let me out!

gotta get more toys!

2008-07-18T12:49:00.004-05:00

So I walk in the house last night- excited to see Ryan because I bought him some new rawhide toys! He apparently is teething and needed some harder-more tough toys than the ones we had previously gotten him.

I go into his little space- which we have created for him in the hallway..marked off by a gate and his crate....so I go to take him out of the crate and realized that this little boy has chewed through my wall! THROUGH MY WALL! He chewed through the paint, drywall and all the way to the metal scrap. I couldn't believe it! I called Nick immediately, because I figured he had already seen it and cleaned up the mess- because there weren't any pieces on the ground. Well hubby had no idea what I was talking about...so Ryan must have eaten the wall! (is that going to make him sick??)

Anyway- once daddy got home..Ryan got a beating and was on punishment for the rest of the night...only to be forced to look at his new rawhide toy- that he couldn't play with. But we put it close enough to his crate so that he would be pissed off that he couldn't get to it. It was the funniest thing ever watching him pawing and licking through the crate to try and get the rawhide bone! We got a kick out of that. I think Nick recorded it on his phone..so once I figure out how to get that on here...I'll be sure to post it.

I still can't believe he did that! He may be sentenced to the crate forever...because I can't have him chewing my walls up!

lamb is red meat

2008-07-15T09:28:00.004-05:00

me (on the phone): hey babe...when are you coming home because I cooked a really good meal.
him: be home in about 30 mins gotta help ____ do something real quick
me: okay well speed it up...I'm starving!!
he walks into the kitchen: food smells good, what is it?
me: it's a surprise!
him: what is it?
me: it's lamb chops! have you ever had lamb chops
him: yeah
me: oh I didn't know that...well I've never had them
him: babe, the food looks great and smells delicious and all....but....WE DON'T EAT RED MEAT!
me: but it's not beef or pork...we don't eat beef or pork!
him: no babe....we don't eat red meat!
me: i asked the man in the store if this was beef or pork and he said no!!
him: i know..its not beef or pork but its red meat.
me: well we are eating this tonight!!!

So while I thought that I was giving us an alternative to chicken....i messed up our no red meat diet! even though I really thought we were just giving up beef and pork...but I guess the no red meat thing kinda makes some sense!

Anyway- dinner was magnificent according to my husband....so to hell with the red meat diet for one night!

tried a new meal

2008-07-14T21:17:00.005-05:00

since January 2008....the hubby and I have given up beef and pork. So all we really have been eating is CHICKEN, turkey and fish...oh and more CHICKEN!
Because I'm tired of chicken... I decided to try and make something different. I have never eaten lamb before...so I made lamb chops, potatoes, onions and bell peppers all drenched in a Merlot wine sauce and cream of mushroom...and some green beans!
Mighty tasty- if I must say so myself!
I think I'm gonna continue to look for more dishes because I can't eat anymore baked chicken...no matter how you make it or try and spice it up...it's still baked chicken!

the start of mushy mondays...1st one dedicated to my favorite man of all times!

2008-07-14T09:35:00.006-05:00

So I have decided that every Monday I am going to do a mushy post dedicated to someone that I love...or something that I really like. So the first mushy Monday post goes to the man that I love more than anything. The man who is so thoughtful and compassionate and genuinely cares about my wants and needs as a human being....as his wife.....as a black woman!

Sometimes....I don't think the words I LOVE YOU are strong enough for the feelings that I have for him.....actually they don't half way describe the butterflies that I still get in my stomach when he kisses me after 6 years, or the way his smile lights me up on the inside...or the way his real and raw sarcasm makes me mad...and then happy because it is who he is. I love you doesn't describe the way I feel when he holds me and comforts me when I'm sad or had a hard day. I love you doesn't explain his selflessness towards me and mine towards him. I wish I could find a few words that would sum it all up for me...but this is so complicated...so real...so rare...so amazingly beautiful.

When reading through an article in the paper about LOVE....I think the closest thing that was able to sum up part of my feelings was this:

Agape love - unconditional love that is always giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how anyone may respond. This form of love is totally selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not. This is the original and only true form of love.

My husband is my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my provider, my protector, my best critic, my hugest supporter, and the love of my life. So today's mushy Monday post goes to

Mr. Norwood Nicholas Richardson

because these are the only words that I can find to describe my feelings..

I LOVE YOU..I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU...AND I WILL FOREVER AND EVER BE TRULY DEVOTED TO YOU!

what better place to get a french pedi....than in France

2008-07-12T10:28:00.010-05:00

So I had this outlandish idea that a french pedicure in France would be WAAAAAAAAAAAAY better than a french pedi in the States! So Jane and I searched around Paris looking for a shop to get a french mani & pedi in none other than France...I mean how many times are we gonna be able to say that we got a french mani and pedi done by real French people.
HA! well this is who did our feet!!
They were from Hong Kong and spoke very fluent french....no english though! so it was kinda hard asking her why in the hell I had to pay 18 euro just for her to polish my toes...no scrub or nuthin...no that was 36 euro for a "real" pedicure! I was pissed off...because 18 euro is more like $26...for a damn polish change! Anyone who knows me...knows that i am very frugal! and the idea of paying $26 to get a freaking French pedicure in France by people who weren't even French and not even being able to get the bottom of my feet scrubbed....kinda pissed me off. But I was cool. The little girl was really cute and drew pictures to try and help me understand what she was really asking or telling me...we never did get to a clear point of understanding..I just shook my head and smiled...and said MERCI!

with this ring.....

2008-07-12T09:44:00.007-05:00

Scenario: Jane, Helen and myself have decided that we are going out to a club in Paris. We have picked out our outfits...drank a bottle of wine and are ready to hit the streets. Well before we do all of that...of course we have to take a shower and get the days funk off of us. Jane gets dressed...so does Helen...it's finally my turn. I go into the bathroom (which was small as eva) turn the shower on...undress and begin to take off my wedding ring (because I don't shower with it on)...and as im taking it off...my wedding band leaps off of my finger...into the air about 3 feet....and into the freaking shower and down the drain. SIGH.....then here comes all sorts of obscenities as I try to dig down the drain...first my fingers, then tweezers...to get my wedding band. I was unsuccessful.
So....I lost my wedding band in Paris...down the damn drain of a hotel bathroom....lost forever.
We indeed still went out that night and had a fabulous time at Le Queen...which I just found out yesterday was a gay club...lmao! but apparently it was ladies night!
When i told Nick about my ring..his response was "oh well, we will just have to get you another one."
Okay...if he wasn't trippin...then neither would I. as for now...im just rocking my ring...without my band. Our 2 year anniversary is less than a month away...so maybe i'll get a new one then and have him say our vows over and the whole part about the ring...and then put it on my finger just like at our wedding!
This is pt. 1 of my many France stories to come. stay tuned

well...some of those myths turned out to be facts indeed!

2008-07-12T09:25:00.006-05:00

Okay, so I have visited France and had a marvelous time....marvelous!

I have so much to share...that it will probably take some time...so i'm gonna break it up into series.

Currently, i'm trying to post all 707 pictures on photobucket...but that's taking a bit more time than I expected...so hopefully I will get those photos out to peeps before the weekend is over...bc did I mention...IM BACK AT WORK!

Okay so first things first....I will focus on the myths that I posted prior to my trip.

1. YES it is hella expensive in France. A can soda was 2 euro...which equates to about $3.50.

2. YES, (maybe not all) but a whole helluva lot of people SMOKE stinky cigs in France.

3. Some people were mean and rude...but I didn't take it as all French people were mean...just like in America..we have some mean and rude people that you just wanna smack....so its the same there. Some people were pretty nice actually!

4.No French people don't hate Americans...they HATE GEORGE BUSH! Which isn't too different from many Americans...so im not trippin!

5. I didn't really notice the hairy underarms...I was looking though... so I can't really dispel this one just yet!

6. French people do drink a lot of wine...hell wine was cheaper than a can of soda...so that should tell you something! (i didn't see any kids drinking though)

7. Do you need to speak French....kinda because I ran into a few peeps that could speak English..but very limited...so it was hard to communicate.

8. YES some of them were funky...but not all! So I guess I can't say all French people stink...but i did catch a whiff of a few stinky pinky's!